International Security Levels

Sent to me via email recently. Looks to be pretty much spot on about the French and the Italians! :)

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings ... the level has just been raised from Miffed to Peeved. Soon though, the levels may be raised yet again to Irritated or even "a bit cross".

Londoners have not been "a bit cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from Tiresome to "a bloody nuisance". The last time "a bloody nuisance" warning level was issued was during the Great Fire in 1666.

Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from RUN to HIDE. The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing their military capability.

It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert ... the Italians have increased their alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance" to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels: "invade a neighbour" and "lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from Isolationism to "find another oil-rich nation in the Middle East ripe for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are: "attack the world" and "beg the British for help".

Finally here in middle England, we've gone from "pretend nothing's happening" to "make another cup of tea". Our higher levels are: "remain resolutely cheerful" and "win".

John Safran on SBS again.

I think this bloke is great! He says what he thinks and questions the practices of various religions while being a good Jewish boy.

Makes for good TV while everyone else is busy running around watching what they say for fear of insulting the feelings of some half-witted minority group.

Definitely worth watching :)

Program Details : Monday 7 November 2005
9pm - 9.30pm : Speaking in Tongues
Part 1
SBS
Comedy Premiere (Australia/English)

In this is 12-part series John Safran teams up with his maverick match in wit and weird wisdom, Father Bob Maguire. Father Bob and Safran continue their oddest of the odd couple television relationship in this current affairs-cum-chat show with a spiritual twist. This series is mould-breaking, demonically inspired television and will feature guests including cult-busters, scientists and a dog whisperer who has the ability to communicate with Father Bob's dog, Franklin. Different phenomena is explored in the series which features guests who have witnessed inexplicable events and lived to tell the tale, including one guest who experienced a golem-sighting in Prague.
(source: www.yourtv.com.au)

Philips Senseo #2

With regards to my previous post about the Philips Senseo, I have received a reply from a very helpful member of the Consumer Connections team of Sara Lee (who must own Harris Coffee, who must subsequently be associated with or own Moccona - not quite sure on the details though).

Many thanks for the reply:

From: {name deleted for privacy reasons}
Sent: Monday, 31 October 2005 2:19 PM
To: {my email}
Subject: RE: Philips Senseo

Hi {myname}

Thank you for contacting the Senseo Consumer connections.

We are glad that you are so happy about Senseo being available in Australia. As we are all here.

Yes we all very aware of Coffee Milk, unfortunately due to Food Laws in Australia, Customs will not allow the product into Australia yet. Maybe sometime soon.

We can only hope and wait.

We currently have 4 flavours available in Australia – Medium Roast, Dark Roast and Extra Dark Roast. Decaffeinated has just been released into WW supermarkets. Look for it next time you shop.

New flavours to follow next year (mid year) so keep an eye on in the coffee isle.

Yes, currently retailers have the $20 cashback of the Philips Senseo coffee pod machine available from most retailers. Best of luck in converting your friends.

If you would like to take part in promotions, research or receive information concerning Senseo newsletters, bulletins – please advise us, we would only be too happy to provide you with this information.

Kind regards

{name}

SENSEO- Consumer Connections

Sara Lee Australia
18 Forrester Street
KINGSGROVE NSW 2208
Tel: 1800 794 329

My further reply:

{name},

Thank you for replying to my letter.

Considering that I am so happy with the machine, I will gladly accept any information regarding it and participate in promotions and research.

I consider it to be very unfortunate that our food laws do not allow the importation of coffee milk as it really does improve the taste. I would suggest that we (as Aussies) would be more than capable of producing the product ourselves but there has obviously never been a need for it in marketing terms. The funny/sad thing about Australia is that if we don't know that something exists: we don't need it. I think I may write to Pauls milk and Pura and see if they have plans for such an item considering the proliferation of coffee machines on the market now (just open any Myer/Grace Brothers catalogue). I would encourage Harris (Moccona) to do the same as it will benefit not only myself but will also assist in market share once people become aware of the product. An Australian-made coffee milk product would be a wise route as well instead of an imported product. A win-win situation in my opinion :)

I hope that the future of Senseo is set here in Australia as it will mean that the machines with the larger water tank may make it here. I can understand the full range not being available at this time while the market is uncertain about the machine.

There have been a few people interested in the machine through my weblog so I will post your replies on there as well (slightly edited to remove contact details, of course :)

I hope to hear from you soon.

{myname}

Now I need to start petitioning the major milk manufacturers in the hopes that they are looking towards creating such a product. More to come on this very soon (I hope).

Bird Flu Stupidity

What the hell is going on???

Yes, tell me that I'm an idiot but I do like to turn on Sunrise on 7 in the mornings because the people are happy and a little bit forthright and it's entertaining (as opposed to the other morning show on the Packer network - piss off Richard Wilkins and that dickhead that does the weather - they SUCK!!!) It's nice to wake up to a smile while getting ready to go to work.

There was a report this morning about how Australia is going to donate some of it's Bird Flu treatment to neighbours to the north. Considering the talk in the media lately (scare mongering?) that Australia has not got enough stockpiles to be ready for the flu, there is talk of giving some away?

What about looking after our people first? More importantly, and this is based on their contempt for us, our fishing zones and our people even though our support for their tourism industry helps keep them afloat: Fuck Indonesia (if indeed the remedy is to go there).

I say that we help those who are willing to actually be friends and neighbours rather than bludgers who will take what they can while they can! I would say to send New Zealand as much as they want because at least they work with us and look to the future rather than pursue a life that is squared firmly in medieval times!

This post is NOT based on racism. I have NO problem with Asians or any other race (religion is a different matter though). I have a LOT of respect for the Japanese people because they have respect for themselves and are not into telling the rest of the world how to live or that they are infidels. The basis here is to look out for your FRIENDS and to tell the bludgers of the world to piss off!
This includes the members of The Great Unwashed who collect their dole cheques before going to the beach to surf or protest something new this week.

Death Penalty by Proxy

Mick Keelty has gone on the Lateline on the ABC to say that he refuses to apologise for informing the Singaporean police know about the drug smugglers on the way to their shores.

Mr Keelty made a decision of life or death over the lives of 9 individuals and has probably enacted a legal death sentence by proxy over these people.

GOOD ONE, MICK!! When are you running for PM so that at least there will be someone WITH a spine to look forward to running the country in the future?

People may say that John Howard is kissing Bush's arse but at least the little twerp can make decisions on what is right and wrong - as opposed to Captain Blunder who looks like he just stumbled out of an RSL after the afternoon on the bar!
Don't get me wrong - Kim Beazely has some damn good thoughts (it would help if you saw the Geoffrey Robertson Hypothetical on Terrorism a few months ago where he effectively showed a stance very similar to Mr Keelty), unfortunately his balls have been cut off due to having to run to caucus every time he wants to enact something. (Fuck Caucus! Arsewipe unions running/ruining the country with their dickhead brand of politics!)

If I were in the position of Mick Keelty, I would have done the same and I would NOT lose a minute of sleep over it.

People who traffic and deal in drugs are worthless. They are a debt to society and do nothing for anyone other than themselves. I say to churn them into worm food - the world will be a much better place for it!

I realise that it may be tough on the families of those involved but THEY made their decision and they knew the penalties. If it were your son or daughter that had their life f*cked up by drugs thanks to one of these people, you'd gladly be holding the knife to their throat yourself!

Police shoot-to-kill powers

In the war on terror, there is a proposal of giving police the power to shoot-to-kill.

I have mixed feelings about this one….

It is good in one sense that if there is some little sheet-head running around with his bomb strapped to his body, or even his proteges running around in groups pack-raping Australian girls simply because they are not wearing some shitty rag designed by a confused paedophile. In this sense, I am very happy for Police to have a Glock on their hip because there are 15 bullets that can be best described as "a damn good start!"

BUT, the problem with this is that Police *are* human and with human nature, mistakes can be made either inadvertantly or willfully. The Police have a damn tough job at the best of times (I was going to join myself but didn't think much of the idea of fronting up to a domestic to help some woman being beaten and looking down the barrel of a 12-gauge being wielded by some drunk. Don't scoff - it happens!) but there are officers out there who bend the rules they have because they have to in order to catch *someone*… *anyone* thanks to insipid laws that limit them in so many ways.

How many times have you heard and seen underage crims being sent on their way with a mere slap on the wrist simply because they have blue eyes/red hair/freckles thanks to their great, great, grandmother/father being a fullblood? Yes - you can claim 'indigenous' status with just 1/16 of the heritage in you. Does anyone think it strange that the noisiest 'activists' are almost as white as the sheets that the KKK wear? Almost makes me wonder if they’re a stooge placed in the 'ranks' in order to help the Knights justify their actions….

I say that the shoot-to-kill powers be extended only to Police Officers involved in Tactical Response Groups or in situations where it be deemed necessary: this being like in Port Arthur where they should have taken that demented freak, Martin Bryant, and filled him with enough lead to sink the Titanic - again (but no, instead they were instructed to hold off because the government saw an opportunity to disarm the people. On a side note: dictators are always the first to disarm the people because they are the ones who got to where they were by the sword and they will die by the sword - take away the swords and declare yourself dictator-for-life and you can pass all sorts of stupid and inane laws!)

Police Officers on normal beat duty should not have these powers because there are a minority (like in everything else) who will use the powers in the manner in which they were not intended and innocent people will feel the brunt of it.

Perfect example of abuse of Police powers: (which has happened to all of us or someone we know at some time)
Driver is pulled over for a minor infringement and driver debates that it happened (eg: excessive speed reading on handheld radar or laser speed detection device but reading has come off another vehicle or has been used incorrectly resulting in an incorrect reading (which happens more often than people think and Police will admit to)). Upon questioning of Police Officer, he/she realises that they are wrong and caught dead-to-rights on it. They will then 'create' a diversionary tactic in which to justify pulling the vehicle over - this usually involves doing a roadside safety check on the vehicle - something which 95% of all vehicles will fail in one way or another.

Unfortunately, the problem that exists was not created by the Police but due to lawmakers who create laws that are selectively enforced by Police because *they* get raked over the coals by idiotic minority groups for doing their jobs. It also doesn't help when you have illiterate morons in shitty 6-cylinder Commodores & Falcons, and 4-cylinder wannabe boy racers in pretty little girlie cars with big wheels and milo tin exhausts (that sound like explosive diarrhoea) giving the Police lip and attitude because they got caught for doing something stupid. No wonder the cops are humourless when you try to talk to one.

In any case, the willingness to abuse the law in order to help balance the budget is so ingrained now that it won't be swayed with some words from the Commissioner or anyone else.

So the end result now has to be: NO shoot-to-kill laws for beat Police!

Pauline Hanson & Ex-Gratia Payments

Well… look at that….

It seems that if you are a stooge of the Beattie Government, you can be sent to jail for corrupt practices and then sprung again on a technicality. You can then be on the fast-track to an ex-gratia payment of $475,000 and a typical bludger's job nearer to home where your ineptitude can continue unabated.

If you happen to be a political opponent who is a genuine threat to the union-driven pawns who sit on their lazy backsides and you get sent to prison on a conjured technicality and then freed because you shouldn't have been there in the first place, you get told to "bugger off" should the hand come out for exactly the same amount.

Can anyone see anything wrong with this picture?

I can just hear it now…. All the anti-Hanson-ites out there cheering and laughing at her for being denied the payment. Mind you, these are the very same MORONS who say that George Bush is illiterate and incompetent and only got to where he is thanks to daddy's money; that he started a war just to get oil, etc etc etc. Somehow I suspect that the mental midgets who rely on 'factual' information from their marijuana dealer who hasn't seen the business end of a shower for a fortnight, may not see the problem with this.

Do you want to know something? Do you want to know THE FACTS? Oh wait… I forgot that you left-wing, Marxist-types don't deal in facts - you deal in what you think the world is inside your head and that anyone who disagrees with this lovely, happy, friendly world view is a xenophobe, a homophobe, an envirophobe and maybe even a 'light globe' since you clowns have to have an 'obe' in any name you use.

Your so-called 'facts' are based on what the media tells you from their 'enlightened' position but continue to tell only the bits that suit their own political agenda.

Oh wait? You DO actually do your own research? Where? From the New York Times? From CNN? From the Michael Moore website? Yeah - good going… you looked for 'facts' in all the places where the opinion is the same as your own. If you were a truly objective individual and the free-thinker that you claim to be, you would have looked in other places where the opinion expressed actually differed from your own. You also forget that other people ARE entitled to an opinion and that opinion IS allowed to be different from your own. Welcome to the real world - on second thoughts, stay away - I don't want fools like you in my world.

The simple fact of the matter is that if you got your 'facts' about Pauline Hanson from some trashy rag like The Courier Mail, or worse, The Gold Coast Bulletin or The Toowoomba Chronicle, then you really have made up your mind about a subject without knowing the facts. Congratulations! You may now join the queue to get Senator Bob Brown's job down in Tasmania when his token, halfwitted, ill-informed arse rolls off to the big MELON* patch in the sky. (*Melon: What greenies in this world REALLY are: Green on the outside; yellow on the inside; gives everyone the shits).

Similarly, if you sit and laugh at GWB and claim him to be illiterate and everything else negative that you have conjured up about him based on the 10-second spot on the news that is shown on a weekly basis here (ie: exactly the same amount that I see), you either have ESP or are an utter failure at objective thinking (this means: making your mind up before knowing the full story).

The war in IRAQ is over oil? Holy crap! George TOLD you that? Man - that would be worth a fortune to the media to have the inside track on what he's thinking and he actually tells YOU and only you! I'm impressed. So, what am I thinking right now? Yep: "you're a total dickhead!"

The FACTS underlying here are:
- nobody really knows if Pauline Hanson is racist or not. She does and ONLY she does. You know jack shit about what she thinks and what her motivation is.

- Pauline Hanson was either denied true justice, or that true corruption exists at the state political level was the reason behind an inept judge getting that payment and PH being refused.

I'm betting on the corruption thingy……
Peter Beattie treats the public much the same way that Joh Bjelke Peterson used to, but at least Joh did some things for this state (as well as himself) as opposed to PB who just self-serves himself. He's just the same old bludger now as he was when he was secretary for the Station Masters Union when he was in Queensland Rail. The motives were driven by corruption then and they're driven by corruption now.

In memory of a very funny man.....

I was sent this as an email today stating that this was something that is attributed to Ronnie Barker (of The Two Ronnies). I can't find anything that says differently, so I will leave it as his.... for now....

This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes). Irony is that they received not one complaint, must have been that the speed of delivery was too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms as you read.

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.

The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks

The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.

At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.

The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.

Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.

He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.

Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny.

Life Size Dolls

HOLLAND: New fast lanes for car sharers on Amsterdam roads have had an unexpected side effect - they've led to a boom in lifesize doll sales.
www.autoexpress.co.uk

...and with Amsterdam probably being the best place in the world to purchase a life-size 'doll'.... >:)

Heritage Building Society & Rewards Points #2

Good news!

It seems that NOT being abusive or snakey at people who are just trying to do a job has once again proven to me to be the way to approach issues.

I have a mate who works on intimidation and abuse (well, he used to) to get his way and would then progressively abuse more and more people up the management tree until he got the result he wanted.

I received a phone call a couple of hours ago and was informed that I will be reissued with new passes in order to use the points I earned from using my Visa card with Heritage Building Society.

Not only did they give me the 1 month I enquired about, they were also kind enough to reissue them for a further 6 months.

Thank you, Heritage!

Since there are no sick family members to deal with or other major issues, I just need to find someone who is willing to go with me.... :) I've got no excuse if the passes run out this time.

Hey Nilknarf *.... (just kidding... coming up from Victoria just to go on rides is silly - like something I would do.... :) Did I mention that I once drove 2 days each way just to spend a weekend in Adelaide? Never been there before so it seemed like a good idea at the time. It certainly blew some cobwebs out of the Mustang too! :)