Friday, October 29, 2010

Friday Funnies

These were posted in one of the comment areas of a post on Townhall recently and they were too good to not share.

Enjoy :)

Q: What is the difference between ObamaCare and a car battery?
A: The battery has a positive side.

Q. Why did Obama cross the road?
A. Actually, Obama promised to cross the road, but then he didn't.

President Obama is to statesmanship as an Etch-A-Sketch is to art.

Q. Why was Obama staring at the frozen orange juice can?
A. It said "concentrate".

Q. Why did President Obama feel it was necessary for him to apologize to the world and to degrade the United States?
A. Jimmy Carter had laryngitis.

Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common?
A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.

Q. Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
A. He thought Barry sounded too American.

Q. Why are there only 2 pallbearers at a Muslim funeral?
A. There's only 2 handles on a garbage can.

Q: Why don't Muslims go out drinking?
A: Why should they when they can get bombed at home?

Q. Why do seagulls have wings?
A. To beat the Muslims to the garbage dump.

Q: What will most Muslims in this country eventually be asked?
A: "Will the defendant please rise?"

Q. How do you address the most powerful Muslim in the world?
A. Mr. President.

Q. What is the Obama Administration's official term for Muslim terrorist?
A. The victim.

Q. What is the current position of Homeland Security regarding terror?
A. If you see a terrorist about to blow himself up, go up to him and say, "Hey! Stop that!"

Q. Did you hear about the latest Muslim invention?
A. Nobody has.

Q. How did the Muslim mother teach her son which way to put his underwear on?
A. Fuse in the front!

Q. What do you call a Muslim who owns a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.

Q. What's the difference between Cindy Sheehan and a terrorist enemy?
A. Nothing.

Q. What's the difference between Michael Moore and a one ton CARE package?
A. Michael Moore, if sliced real thin, can feed a larger Afghan village.

Q. Did you hear the one about the Muslim who won a Nobel Prize in Mathematics?
A. There is a Muslim that understands mathematics???

Q. How many muslims does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. What's toilet paper?

Q: What do you ask a man who's just converted to Islam?
A: "Have you started beating your wife?"

Q. How many Muslim extremists will it take to destroy America?
A. None, American Liberals can do it all by themselves, thank you.

Q. How many Muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. What's a light bulb?

Q. Who are the Muslim 3 Stooges?
A. Saladin, Mohammed, and Osama. Nyuck, Nyuck!

Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead Democrat in the road?
A: Vultures will eat the skunk.

Q: What's the difference between Obama and a catfish?
A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish

Q. What do Tehran and Hiroshima have in common?
A. Nothing.... yet.

Q: How can you tell if a Muslim girl is old enough to marry?
A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she's old enough. If it isn't, cut the barrel down until her chin is over the top.

Q. What's the difference between a Muslim and a vampire?
A. At some point the vampire will stop being bloodthirsty.

Q. What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats?
A. A pimp.

Q. Mohamed and Mouloud are in a car, who’s driving?
A. The police.

Q. What do you call two muslim guys in front of a trash can?
A. A family portrait.

Q. What do you call two muslim guys and two muslim girls in front of a trash can?
A. A night-club.

Q. What’s the difference between a run-over dog and a run-over Arab?
A. There’s usually skid marks in front of the dog.

Q. What’s the difference between E.T and an arab?
A. ET eventually went home

1 comment:

Nilk said...

ROFLMAO I am so stealing these. :)