If the Captain of the Titanic can find Ice....

So now the media are "coming to the rescue" of druggies because they're not getting the product they paid for?

Dealers duping users with 'fake ice'

POLICE suspect South Australian drug dealers are cashing in on the ice craze by selling "normal" methamphetamine as the more potent form of the deadly drug.

SA Police Commissioner Mal Hyde is quoted as saying:

"But you have got to balance that with the fact there is a product out there that looks like ice, it is produced to look like ice, but it is methamphetamine that has been cut with another agent and it produces a crystal form.

"So a lot of people might be reporting using ice, but in fact they are really using methamphetamine, rather than the ice form of methamphetamine."

That's just great.... Members of the Australian Media are now taking up the charge that it's just not right that people are paying their hard-earned (or easily-stolen) money for a highly addictive illegal drug and getting a cheaper version in it's stead.

What this article tells me is that the writer, Nigel Hunt, writing for The Sunday Mail, is one of 2 things: He's pissed off because he got ripped off on his last hit -or- he thinks that druggies have rights.

Fact: While my arse points to the ground - druggies have NO rights other than to be treated like the 2nd-class shit that they are! They ruin their own lives and those of people around them through their thoughtlessness and outright selfishness.

May they all die a horrible (and Health-System cheap) death so that people who wish to be productive members of society can live in peace.

Definitions extended: Rent-a-....

With regards to the latest protests over the speech* to scholars by Pope Benedict XVI where he made an indirect quote from history, I have decided to create a new** definition that I think should be included in the various dictionaries of the world.

Rent-a-Jihad [pron: rend - ar - ji-hahd, also pron: buhnch - ov - prim-i-tiv - fuhk-wits]

1.
Similar in nature to Rent-a-crowd [pron: buhnch - ov - uhn-wosht - moonbats] but consists entirely of Muslims feigning insult at the most miniscule and remote reference to Islam in a factual sense.

2.
A Rent-a-Jihad can form in nano-seconds with matches ready at hand and an assortment of flags of countries from around the world that have been sprayed with petrol and ready to burn.

3.
While a Rent-a-Jihad can form very quickly, it can take many days for one to dissipate and not before immature screams of "persecution!", "religious intolerance", "kill all non-believers!" and "man, that is one sexy camel! I wish that my uncle Achmed the Tent Merchant was here" are heard at great volume and at regular intervals.

4.
A typical Rent-a-Jihad-ist will be male and will barely have the intellectual capacity to work out that he can get water to his mouth if he cups his hands. After that, it appears that to be a genetic flaw that a member is utterly incapable of inventing anything that benefits mankind in any way. Most appear to be even more unemployable than the average wharfie from any port in Australia (in a *real* job, that is - you know - where people actually work).

5.
Older Rent-a-Jihad-ists are indentified by their wearing of dresses so that they can look just like their mama ("the wretched whore!") while the younger ones have a uniform consisting of parachute material tracksuits that were shite when they first appeared in the 80's before dying a well-earned fashion death.

source: Jai's Dictionary of Phrases That Need to be Adopted by the Media

[Note: Astute readers will note that the photos attached to this post were indeed taken during the protests that occurred after some Danish cartoonists drew some caricatures and stick figures of the world's best known historical paedophile (peace be upon him (or is that "piss be upon him"? )). The pictures can be used because they never change - it's the same scene every time.]

* Check out the following links on The Thin Man Returns for better coverage than I can provide)

-- Within Reason
-- Pope Apologises; Religion Of Peace Goes About Business As Usual
-- Quod Erat Demonstrandum, Baby
-- So Sad, Too Bad

** It may be new or it may not but I'll claim it as mine nonetheless :)

Dickheads in the Media, part #678

I kinda got a bit irate when hearing a bit of the radio program on Triple-M called the Spoonman on the way home last night. The rest below is what I threw on the Triple-M forum(They call it the 'Message Board').

I find it interesting that, Spoon asked a cyclist to call in to explain why cyclists ride on the road when there is a path beside the highway - presumably to find out some information - only to start using snide comments and attacking the woman who called in and cyclists in general.

Yet, when asked about a woman living in Australia who wears a burqa, she is recognised as having freedom to choose what she does.

So - which is it? A social group is judged entirely on what numbers of them do or are they individuals making decisions for themselves??

I will not deny that there are a LOT of cyclists - *oops*, I mean "bike-riders" out there who are nothing more than "temporary Australians" - idiots let loose in public to do whatever they want before someone in a car turns them into road pizza. I am a cyclist and I consider myself to be in the 5-10% of all "bike-riders" who show courtesy to other road users AND I obey the road rules in full. Being a Commissioner for Declarations, it does not look favourably upon my ability to be an upstanding member of the community to break the law but it seems that Spoonman has decreed that I'm just another bitumen-stain waiting to happen.

One thing about this country is that people are told when they are speaking out of turn about a subject which they know nothing about. I would not presume to tell Spoon who to run a radio broadcast but I would expect him to have some modicum of objectivity (none of it displayed in the segment last night) when discussing a subject that he CLEARLY has no understanding of and knows nothing more about it than the fact that a bicycle has 2 wheels!

He asked the question: "Why ride on the road when there are paths?" and chose to talk down to the woman who was trying to answer the question - not to mention belittle the knowledge that she has, which he does not and obviously thinks that he is smarter without.

Myself, I am a cyclist - I have had a car licence for a long time. I have only owned V8's and I have a classic American Musclecar as well as a hotrod. I also ride motorbikes and drive trucks. Add to that some extensive experience as being a qualified motorsport official on both dragstrips and circuit racing AND having been a racer and driving instructor on several occasions.

I can tell Spoonman quite unequivocally that HE DOES NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO COMMENT ON NOR BERATE CYCLISTS ON THE ROAD WHILE HE KNOWS **JACK** ABOUT WHY THEY DO WHAT THEY DO!!!

Again - a vast majority of those on bikes just shouldn't be there but don't be too smug about this knowledge as, in my experience as a professional driver AND as a cyclist, there is a similar differentiation between "drivers" and "car-operators".

Your typical car-operator comprises about 95% of the motoring population - they are someone who can press pedal-A and shift lever-B and turn round-thing-C to make a motor vehicle move in the desired direction. This DOES NOT make someone a DRIVER! Just like on the news when they say "An 18 year old 'man' was taken into custody for beating, robbing and raping an 83 year old woman." - this creature is a "male" and NOT a "man"!

A "driver" is someone who obeys the road rules; they drive to the conditions; they show courtesy to all other road users; they know what the shiny things on the doors are for; they know what the pretty, flciky lights are for and HOW TO USE THEM; they know how to handle a motor vehicle; they don't drive while under the influence of any legal or non-legal drug EVER; they don't smoke or use a phone EVER while "driving"; and they recognise the fact that they own the car and not the friggin' road and that it must be shared with others (even if they are totally brain dead and all seem to want to be in Toyota Landcruisers that never leave the blocktop!)

I don't give a rat's arse if this is semantics or not - the apathy in this country is becoming so mind-numbingly overwhelming that everyone is becoming a bludger who won't take responsibility for their actions - and a motorist blaming a person on a bike for holding them up (the choice of the rider is that of an INDIVIDUAL and not representative of the group!) is assigning responsibility for poor design of the road system to someone on a bike. How F***ING stupid is that???
What level of responsibility belongs to the person behind the wheel when they choose to sit as a single-occupant in a car, out of some selfish excuse of "right" when it has always been a "privilege", when there are better options available?

So, Mr Spoon... Your treatment of that young lady last night, in asking a question and then turning it into an attack when all she was doing was trying to help you, makes you a MALE and FAR from being a MAN! Be big enough to cease the attacks on cyclists until you get a f***ing idea what the hell you're talking about and you'll be the better MAN for it.

As for you 95% of "car-operators" out there: registration does NOT pay for the roads and the issue of licencing cyclists and registering bicycles is just as big an issue in the cycling world as it is for other road users. Motorists would also do well to remember that a road is a part of the carriageway which runs from property-boundry to property-boundary and that pedestrians have right-of-way over cars at significantly more locations than just on pedestrian crossings.

But then, being a car-operator who presumes to know the law fully - you already knew that....

One final point - why cyclists don't ride on paths at every opportunity. BECAUSE THEY CAN'T! Bicycle paths are made for recreational riders who can't hold a line and the paths meander all over the bloody place! They are useless for getting from Point-A to Point-B and are only constructed to make it appear as though a politician is doing something for the community other than lining their own pockets!

Have you ever been stuck behind a set of Charlies-'Angels' in a shopping centre and couldn't get past? This is what I call anyone from girls to women who walk 3-or-more abreast (often with an arse that can be measured with a lengthwise pick-handle!) and you cannot get around them. Do YOU get irritated at this when you're busy and got sh*t to do? Try doing that on a path and cannot run the risk of riding off onto the side because your wheels can sometimes be caught in a rut and throw you off.

Do you think it would be fair to drive your car in the dirt down the side of the highway because morons are issued licences without being taught or tested fully yet you cannot get around them? Would you willingly use a road if you got a flat tyre every second time you went down that way because someone else thinks that you should? What about horses pulling carts on the road? They hold you up - should they be removed as well? What about trams? They are a far more efficient form of transport than any car and they cause traffic chaos at times that FAR exceeds cyclists - should they be removed?

The simple solution is for people in cars, who DON'T know what the f**k they're talking about, to GROW UP and lay the blame for the problems with the roads at the feet of those responsible for them - not OTHER road users who are doing you a favour by removing yet another car from the traffic jam!

If you fail to understand the point I'm trying to make here, I have a half-housebrick at home that you can use to knock some sense into yourself. Failing that, have a read of a blogpost from a woman in Toronto in Canada - it's worth reading.

Things a non-cyclist might not understand Part I: An open letter to motorists who dislike cyclists.

Germaine Greer vs Steve Irwin

I saw this on CNN last week.

Germaine Greer is slagging off at Steve Irwin.

WHO THE HELL DOES THIS BRAINLESS SLAG THINK SHE IS?

She moved to England and say that she won't return to Australia unless welcomed by the traditional owners, yet says that many turn up to the airport to greet her when she arrives?
Which tribe are they from? The tribe that "owned" the whole country?

Greer, best known for her feminist book "The Female Eunuch", said Wednesday Irwin was an "embarrassment" and a "self-deluded animal torturer."

There is only one embarassment in this argument -- and it ISN'T Steve Irwin.

Greer said Irwin had not treated animals with the respect they deserved.

Just because he didn't stick his finger up the date of a horrid, comtempible whore like Greer actually works in his favour from where I stand.

Greer can stay in England - or better yet, go to Afghanistan and put a potato sack on her head and she can take the cock-biters in the media who put credence in what she says and publishes her comments in the "news".

Steve Irwin was 100 times the man that Greer could ever hope or want to be >:)

NT Speed Limited

Fan-fucking-tastic news.... NOT!!

The Northern Territory - the last bastion of true Aussies left in the country (or rather, the 52nd state of the USA (Canada is 51)). A place where common-bloody-sense is still a requirement to live and everything is not over-legislated to comply with keeping the lowest common denominator of society (ie: STUPID PEOPLE) alive.

They're now talking about introducing a speed limit on the open roads because people keep killing themselves.

Gee - do you think that this is going to stop those that are unlicenced? What about those who drink themselves into a stupour and then get in the car to drive to the pub for more beer?

NO!!!

Yet again, the hopeless wannabe's in government are putting limitations on everyone else in the territory because the irresponsible and downright stupid people amongst us weren't strangled at birth.

There will be MORE deaths on the roads in NT if speed limits are introduced because 100 & 110kph is a DEADLY speed - it is sleep-inducing. At least, if in the middle of nowhere with no other traffic and an endless horizon, a reasonable speed helps to keep the driver awake.

Pity the lawmakers can't stay awake. I guess the state coffers are running low and they need more money for the overseas holidays that Queensland's Peter Beattie is constantly taking at taxpayers expense.

Wild Bean is CRAP, eh!

(Sorry for the bit of Canadian language in the title but it fits :)

Well... here in Oz, BP (British Petroleum) has taken a wonderful step forward in presentation in marketing by introducing what they call the Wild Bean Cafe back in 2004.

It was now possible to turn up to a servo in the middle of the night after a 4- or 5-hour drive and get a half-decent coffee instead of the mud that McDonalds makes (even though it does keep you awake).

But then, THANKS to the usual halfwits of the world who sue corporations for any reason and the cretins in marketing who think that they need to be "proactive"* in preventing said halfwits from having a go: the only kind of coffee you can get at a Wild Bean Cafe is a COLD one!

I have to have my coffee HOT. Not quite thermo-nuclear hot but definitely more than the 65-degrees-C that the staff have been instructed to not go over. To me, that is COLD and I can inhale a 12-oz cup in the same time it take to drink a similar sized glass of water.

I supply them with a non-leaking travel mug and informed them that I am indeed old enough to take responsibility for my actions and that if I spill it on my dick then that is my tough shit. I have even gone to the lengths of asking them to show me to the microwave overn so that I could heat the pathetic attempt up to a satisfactory level. Of course, I don't abuse staff or belittle them because they are acting under instructions from idiot managers.

If you like HOT coffee: AVOID BP & WILD BEAN CAFE!!!

* "Proactive" - wank-word used by management = do it my way.

Heroin disguised as Coffee

It is cases like THIS where I think on the same wavelength as the Indonesians.

Whereas they will kill drug traffickers while allowing mass-murderers to go free with a slap on the wrist (I've mentioned elsewhere that the race is totally corrupt and will happily bend the rule for like-minded people or a fistful of cash. Don't take my word for it though - this came from a mate of mine who is half-Indo and KNOWS what they're like).

A MAN will appear in court today charged with trying to smuggle up to 3kg of heroin disguised as coffee through Melbourne Airport at the weekend.

The 46-year-old Australian man arrived in Melbourne on Saturday from the Cambodian capital, Phnom Penh, via Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, an Australian Federal Police (AFP) spokesman said today.

A "man"??? I see the media are still as incompetent as ever when it come to correct use of terminology.

An "...Australian Federal Police (AFP) spokesman..."?? So the AFP was aware of the shipment but still did not follow the EXCELLENT example set by Mick Keelty in informing the Customs controls of Malaysia? I understand that they have the death penalty there as well - which is EXACTLY what this contemptible sack-of-shit deserves for his troubles. It also saves MY taxes being used to both defend and prosecute him and then keep him in a house with a bed and 3 squares a day. What about the homeless people who don't willingly import substances that can kill hundreds of people?

If convicted, the man faces life imprisonment and/or a fine up to $825,000.

I still prefer the other option.... Hang him by the neck until he's DEAD.
I'll even provide the tree AND the rope!

Nic is self-centred??

I remember asking Nick & Nora a few years ago about what the deal was with Nicole Kidman.

Was she really the nice sort of bird that you see on TV or was she a young harridan in disguise?

T'is funny what you see and may possible describe as "deja vu". :)

Arm the Seals!

I find this to be a very distressing story.

Why did a couple of dickheads choose to kill 40 fur seals on Kanowna Island?

Was it the fishing industry whinging about them eating fish or was it a couple of drunken fuckwits looking for something to shoot?

Would they be so quick to shoot them if the seals could shoot back? Would they have thought that it was fair if there was someone on the shore thinking that there were too many fishermen in the waters and took a few shots back?

Personally, I have no problem with performing the latter. I'm getting pretty close to having had more than enough of fuckwits in this society that think that they can do things like this because they want to make more money so that they'll have more beer to drink.

How about this?
Wait for the next batch of fake Muslims* to have a riot in Sydney or Melbourne and then sit in your boat of shore and pick a few of them off? They're a drain on the public purse and are a threat to your way of life AND there'll be a few people willing to pay for the ammo for you to do it as well!

Failing that - go back up to the Torres Straight and pick off a few of the illegal fishing boats that rape the environment up there.

Get your priorities right.

*"fake Muslims" - the kind that claim to be a part of a nation that isn't Islamic but want to change it so that it will become that way so that they can fulfil their dreams of self-importance.

Integrate or FUCK OFF!

Honestly? What is so hard to understand about the concept of learning the language and treating your women (and ours) like real people instead of possessions?

Australia is NOT a Muslim nation (and hopefully it never will be) yet people of the Islamic faith are allowed to live here (and collect Social Security which they SHOULDN'T get - there's enough bludgers here now!) and are accepted. Yet, the values of THIS COUNTRY aren't good enough for some followers of the Cult of the Paedophile and think that they can live in their own little enclaves and take over suburbs in major cities and treat Aussies like 2nd class citizens?

Excuse me? If you came here as a refugee - is that not the treatment that you claim you are fleeing yet you think it's OK to go to another country and do it to other people?

Then they pipe up again and demand that THEIR law is the only one that counts. If you want Sharia Law; if you want to treat your women like 2/3 or half the worth of a male (as I've seldom seen behaviour becoming a man in a Muslim male); if you want to riot in the streets about the AUSTRALIAN Prime Minister upholding AUSTRALIAN values; then FUCK OFF back to the country from whence you came!

If you try to tell me that you're an Aussie while holding "values" listed above: you're not one of us - you're just a coward and a liar!
If you think that it's more important to be something other than an Aussie and that the country should change to suit you, then again: FUCK OFF!! There's countries out there that are Muslim and will happily accept those ideals. MY country isn't one of them.

For the record, if you're one of these bleeding-heart liberal-minded cock-biters that say that I'm wrong - YOU can PISS OFF with them! Let's see just how well you'll get on in a Muslim country behaving the way you do here?

So... the choice is simple.... Learn English and treat women as equals or LEAVE!
If you want to indulge in Threats of Violence against civilised people just to get your own way - be warned that the government hasn't been able to disarm ALL of the nation just yet.

Fingerprints kept Illegally

Well, DUH!!!

This report suggests that it was just the Victorian Police that were doing this.

THE fingerprints of up to half a million innocent Victorians have been retained illegally by Victoria Police.
Senior police have warned the scandal could expose the force to a fine totalling millions of dollars.
Leaked documents, seen by the Sunday Herald Sun, reveal it could take police two decades to clear a backlog of hundreds of thousands of fingerprint sets.

Seriously: Is there anyone out there STUPID enough to believe that if the police destroy that little card with your finger-painting on it? They ALWAYS say that the prints will be destroyed which I believed when I was younger but I know now that the original collection card of the prints will be destroyed but the question avoids an answer when you ask about COPIES of your prints.

Having been someone that's been printed a couple of times, the subterfuge used to obtain your prints has been something foremost in my mind when dealing with the Police.

Don't get me wrong - I am far from being anti-cop as I would most definitely be in prison or dead now had I not been thrown around that back room by the ears all those years ago. I am actually grateful for that.
What troubles me when dealing with the police is that great numbers of them (not all) treat everyone they meet like potential criminals and/or suspects and use the line of "If you've done nothing wrong, then you have nothing to worry about!"

Well, I'll tell you: I will not be fingerprinted again nor will I ever participate in a DNA test unless there is actual need for it (ie: a charge being laid). I like my privacy to be mine and my word is my bond. Accept that or piss off!

Opposition police spokesman Kim Wells said: "The Victoria Police is an organisation you would expect to abide by the law, so I'm gobsmacked by this."

Fucking dreamer....

Pallywood: Palestinian Hollywood

It's never been a secret that I think Hollywood is just a collective of bullshitters considering how they are constantly trying to change history via movies (U571, Pearl Harbour, and soon-to-be-released Twin Towers are 3 that immediately spring to mind) Yet, PALLYWood (Hollywood for Palestinians) is doing the very same thing in southern Lebanon thanks to the mainstream media.

Bullshitters creating "news" of the evil, foul, nasty, Zionist Israelis -- yet failing to take into account some very basic requirements when actually in what is termed to be a "war zone". I would have thought that with the Israelis being one of the best armies in the world: dodging bullets would be a prime requisite. Standing in the street, 100m away from an Israeli compound makes a person to be an extremely easy target.

It is clear and obvious that the insurgents are using the media purely to get the more simple-minded people of this world to believe that Jews are bad and that violence-inducing Palestinians are the oppressed. All it truly proves is that Palestinians and others like them are liars who practice deception at every available opportunity.

It's 18 minutes long but it's worth watching to see just how we are all being duped by the mass media.

Thanks to Nick & Nora for posting details of the video on their blog.

Now THAT'S a Bike Race!

If you're one of these people who likes to blame cyclists on the road for every little problem you face while cruising mindlessly in your single-occupant car going nowhere fast in traffic: Watch THIS!

I hope it makes you spit your Starbucks all over the inside of your windscreen! >:)

"Description of Suspect"

I don't care if you hate Ann Coulter or not because I think she is great. She speaks sense and facts while all around (liberal, bleeding-heart shitheads) are trying to save the world.

If you don't agree with what A.C. says then my response to that is that you are the kind of person who believes that criminals have rights while victims of crime do not; that terrorists have rights while their victims do not; that organisations like Hezbollah and it's ilk have a right to exist while hiding behind women and children for the sole cowardly purpose of using them as shields and then crying to the media about it afterwards.



Try to deny the facts in this video regardless of who says them.

If the vid doesn't work, try this link.

Dennis Miller? Larry Miller!!

As I've been doing lately when I've been too disinterested to write my own comment, I've been including rants and emails sent to me by other people.

I was sent this one this morning and liked it so much that I thought that I would include it on the blog - but there was this *thing* in my head that said to check out the post on Snopes first. I love this site sometimes.

It seems that the piece WASN'T actually written by a bloke called 'Dennis Miller' but an edited version of this piece from The Daily Standard.
(See this piece on Snopes to read more).

The email/incorrect version is below so that it is easy to spot but I would strongly suggest you read the full article. A good read.

THIS IS VERY COOL AND UNEXPECTED FROM DENNIS MILLER,

Subject: Israel For those who don't know, Dennis Miller is a comedian from America who has a show called Dennis Miller Live on HBO. He is not Jewish. He recently said the following about the Middle East situation:

"A brief overview of the situation is always valuable, so as a service to all Americans who still don't get it, I now offer you the story of the Middle East in just a few paragraphs, which is all you really need.

Here we go: The Palestinians want their own country. There's just one thing about that: There are no Palestinians. It's a made up word. Israel was called Palestine for two thousand years. Like "Wiccan", "Palestinian" sounds ancient but is really a modern invention. Before the Israelis won the land in the 1967 war, Gaza was owned by Egypt,The West Bank was owned by Jordan, and there were no "Palestinians." As soon as the Jews took over and started growing oranges as big as basketballs, what do you know, say hello to the "Palestinians," weeping for their deep bond with their lost "land" and "nation." So for the sake of honesty, let's not use the word "Palestinian" anymore to describe these delightful folks, who dance for joy at our deaths, until someone points out they're being taped.

Instead, let's call them what they are: "Other Arabs Who Can't Accomplish Anything In Life And Would Rather Wrap Themselves In The Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal Struggle And Death."

I know that's a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN. How about this, then: "Adjacent Jew-Haters." Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters want their own country. Oops, just one more thing. No, they don't. They could've had their own country any time in the last thirty years, especially two years ago at Camp David but if you have your own country, you have to have traffic lights and garbage trucks and Chambers of Commerce, and worse, you actually have to figure out some way to make a living. That's no fun. No, they want what all the other Jew-Haters in the region want: Israel. They also want a big pile of dead Jews, of course -- that's where the real fun is -- but mostly they want Israel. Why? For one thing, trying to destroy Israel - or "The Zionist Entity" as their textbooks call it -- for the last fifty years has allowed the rulers of Arab countries to divert the attention of their own people away from the fact that they're the blue-ribbon most illiterate, poorest, and tribally backward on God's Earth, and if you've ever been around God's Earth ... you know that's really saying something.

It makes me roll my eyes every time one of our pundits waxes poetic about the great history and culture of the Muslim Middle-East. Unless I'm missing something, the Arabs haven't given anything to the world since Algebra, and, by the way, thanks a hell of a lot for that one.

Chew this around & spit it out: 500 million Arabs; 5 million Jews. Think of all the Arab countries as a football field, and Israel as a pack of matches sitting in the middle of it. And now these same folks swear that, if Israel gives them half of that pack of matches, everyone will be pals.
Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what about the string of wars to obliterate the tiny country and the constant din of rabid blood oaths to drive every Jew into the sea? Oh, that? We were just kidding.

My friend Kevin Rooney made a gorgeous point the other day: Just reverse the Numbers. Imagine 500 million Jews and 5 million Arabs. I was stunned at the simple brilliance of it. Can anyone picture the Jews strapping belts of razor blades and dynamite to themselves? Of course not.
Or marshalling every fibre and force at their disposal for generations to drive a tiny Arab State into the sea? Nonsense.
Or dancing for joy at the murder of innocents? Impossible.
Or spreading and believing horrible lies about the Arabs baking their bread with the blood of children? Disgusting.

No, as you know, left to themselves in a world of peace, the worst Jews would ever do to people is debate them to death. Mr. Bush, God bless him, is walking a tightrope. I understand that, with vital operations in Iraq and others, it's in our interest, as Americans, to try to stabilize our Arab allies as much as possible, and, after all, that can't be much harder than stabilizing a roomful of super models who've just had their drugs taken away. However, in any big-picture strategy, there's always a danger of losing moral weight. We've already lost some.

After September 11th, our president told us and the world he was going to root out all terrorists and the countries that supported them. Beautiful. Then the Israelis, after months and months of having the equivalent of an Oklahoma City every week (and then every day), start to do the same thing we did, and we tell them to show restraint. If America were being attacked with an Oklahoma City every day, we would all very shortly be screaming for the administration to just be done with it and kill everything south of the Mediterranean and east of the Jordan.

Please feel free to pass this along to your friends Walk in peace! Be Happy! Have a wonderful life

Teachers SHOULD hit back!!

There's this charming bit of news from the cultural centre of Thuggery and Buggary here in Australia: New South Wales.

TEACHERS have been karate-kicked, punched, headbutted, sprayed with acid and attacked with weapons in a disturbing range of assaults by violent students in New South Wales public schools.

It seems that the old trend of disallowing a teacher to defend themselves still stands in the classroom. I personally know of a bloke who grew up on the streets of Sydney and became a teacher to give something back to the community. The teacher was suspended for knocking unconscious the high-school student who stuck a knife under his chin for telling the student to stop vandalising the desk.

I say he did the right thing - and that maybe a few kicks in the ribs while the kid was on the floor wouldn't have gone astray either (preferably while conscious though so that he has something to remember the beating-he-so-greatly-deserved by).

It seems that the education system in this country follows the legal system quite well. Run away from those who incite violence and terror and wait to get stabbed or beaten up whereupon something will be done *after* the fact - even though the attackee really didn't deserve the pain in the first place.

HELL NO!!!

The crackdown on anti-teacher violence follows a 16-year-old student from Randwick Boys High School in Sydney's east appearing in Bidura Children's Court for allegedly choking a female teacher on June 19.

As for this cretin that has been raised to be such an oh-so-valuable member of society - I know a few women that would pummell his gutless head into the middle of next week just for choosing a soft target rather than someone who could better defend themselves.

Bring back corporal punishment into schools.
It is clear that schoolkids who know no respect - whether it be through fear or actual respect - will just grow into adults with no respect for anyone or anything.

Sign me up, STUPID

Hallelujah! I am saved!

It seems that German Scientists (or rather, just one) are coming to my rescue yet again as they have invented an 'Anti-stupidity' pill.

"...And not a moment too soon!" comes the cry from people who know me or read the crap that I write.

I just want to know if my Health Care Card will cover the cost of it so that I can be less stupid when it comes to going to an interview for a job....

Here's the article in full:

A GERMAN scientist has been testing an "anti-stupidity" pill with encouraging results on mice and fruit flies, Bild newspaper reported today.
It said Hans-Hilger Ropers, director at Max-Planck-Institute for Molecular Genetics in Berlin, has tested a pill thwarting hyperactivity in certain brain nerve cells, helping stabilise short-term memory and improve attentiveness.

"With mice and fruit flies we were able to eliminate the loss of short-term memory," Ropers, 62, is quoted saying in the German newspaper, which has dubbed it the "world's first anti-stupidity pill".

Pavlov's Daughter

Let's see if I can elicit a response like he got from his dog?

If a good hubby is a rare species: maybe I should advertise my skills?

- interior decorating of the house isn't courtesy of XXXX and beer mats.
- I know how to clean a toilet (and do)
- I know how to change a toilet roll (and do)
- I know how to hang towels up (always)
- I know how to sweep and mop floors
- The bedroom floor isn't a wardrobe
- The kitchen floor isn't a wardrobe
- No nude calendars in the house (bikini one in the workshop though - where it belongs!)
- I can fix things
- I can build things
- I can remove creepy crawlies from the house without squealing like a metrosexual or killing them
- I bathe EVERY day
- The washing-up is done more often than once a month or when I run out of dishes
- Same goes for 'washing' and 'jocks'
- Watching sports on TV is a waste of time (unless it's the Tour de France)
- I like to eat good food and go out to restaurants
- I like to go to the gym and exercise often
- I like to dance

Oh shit.... reading through this, I've just realised that I'm almost gay. Great - just fuckin' great....

Oh wait... I *like* to dance but can't do it very well. *PHEW* - that was close :)

City girls go country in search of Mr Right

Hmmm... seems to me that Sydney women are possibly suffering from what I call 'Sydney Disease' - that is, that the state of New South Wales ends at the limits of greater Sydney (you know - the 'gong in the south; Liverpool to the west; Gosford to the north).

Here is a story about City Girls getting sick of the heterosexual-bloke-pretending-to-be-caring-so-that-they-can-get-into-your-pants thing - better known as 'metrosexual'.

About friggin' time.

Of course, the woman in the article seems to think that the only course her life must take is 'settling down' and 'having kids'. If nothing else, she is a product of the standard of education in this country. There is far more to life than just squirting out kids, lady!

Then again, looking at this bird, a bloke could do far worse and may actually take that option. I must admit that I held a baby during the week (2nd one since niece was born something like 24 years ago (I forget how old she is...)). No crying - no spewing - big smiles - I guess they are the moments that sell parenthood to idiots like me who will try just about anything to land a good woman.

The unfortunate thing is that I live in the city as well and even though I live alone in my own home and have a car and can manage my money, the City Girls often aren't worth finding as they are just as selfish and immature as the blokes.
Maybe I can find a job in a country town where the people are genuine and I can leave the stupidity of the city to the people who deserve it.

I wish the girl (Katey Barrett) the best of luck though - she'll need it.

0 for ... double figures (TMI files)

Here is another one of my TMI files where I slag off at the female population for thinking me not good enough - or is it?

After registering on a dating site on the internet (yes, I had to have a go so that I could say that I did make an attempt to meet someone) and contacting somewhere around 50 individuals (kept records), I have finally found a single female on this site that is capable of telling the truth - or at least expressing an opinion.

I've met many before this day who are able to do this and if I say something dumb then they tell me - that is what I like: honesty. Unfortunately, most are seemingly incapable of doing this. They *say* they do, but we all know that actions speak louder than words.

Of course, said female still isn't interested in me but that doesn't matter because at least she had the intestinal fortitude to say so and to give a hint as to how I could make things better for myself. That, dear Ladies, is what you call a genuine person!

Dammit... I just remembered that there was another on this site that spoke the truth as well. OK - make that 2. Two out of fifty? Not great odds, is it? Does it mean anything when the blatantly obvious Russian Bride Scam artists don't even write back? :)

In any case, I have taken pause and are now considering my next move based on the information I have been given - which, surprisingly, is the same as that given me by the first one who gave me feedback: "You are too full on."

When I work out what this means, I'll try to do something with it.

I thought that a bloke being "full on" with a new bird is the one who is professing love and devotion and talking about the names of the kids and what colour the bathroom will be painted after you've been talking for maybe 5 minutes. I really fail to see how I could frighten someone when all I do is speak freely and don't bullshit - maybe it's the quantity that I write?

Oh well - who cares. I tell myself that a woman who is put off by a bloke who does more than sits around scratching his nuts and grunting probably won't hang around for long anyway. Just remember this the next time you're trying to impress your friends about what kind of bloke you think you deserve - if you mention "can string together a coherent sentence" - you're lying! (No? Prove me wrong! Win-Win for me, I say >:)

The upside of all of this is that I have gone back to dance classes (Salsa, Merengue, Cha Cha) and am enjoying it immensely. What's even better is that there are about 10 women there to maybe 3 blokes :) All different ages and sizes and such but I don't care as all are friendly and it's great to see a smile when I get something right.
Apparently, I've also been asked to bring along some "cute guys" so that there are more blokes there for the women to dance with. HELL, NO! If I knew where the cute guys hung out, I'd be selling their locations to the gay blokes so that I can make some cash on the side. Also, the standards of the women are lower when there isn't much choice there in partners - better for me :)

I think I just answered the "full on" question as well.... :/

Vietnam Veteran Dies Needlessly

You know... I seem to find myself asking "What is going on in the world??" Just a little bit too often lately.

Here is a case of a Vietnam Veteran walking into a office of the Department of Veterans Affairs down in Melbourne, sits a while, then pulls out a gun and shoots himself dead.

Now, from this, I know for a fact that there will be:
- people concerned about those who work in the offices of the DVA and will rush to get counselling for those workers.
- MORONS saying that if we had tougher gun controls, this couldn't have happened.
- MORE MORONS saying that it wouldn't have happened had there been security on the desk at the entry to the building.

When, IN FACT, the whole solution could have been avoided simply had the Department for Veterans Affairs actually done what it's name suggests and works FOR Veterans and not AGAINST Veterans - which is what it actually seems to do!

The man was known to have made threats to DVA staff.

Does anyone out there know WHY he would have made threats to DVA staff? Anyone? C'mon, it's not that hard a question....

THE REASON why threats are made against staff in government offices is that people are TOTALLY FRUSTRATED at the utter ineptitude of some staff; bewildered by the mindless, half-witted bureaucracy enforced by others; and, forced to listen to bullshit excuses about why payments to those who DEFENDED THE COUNTRY have NOT been kept up with the cost of living since 1976 when BLUDGERS in Canberra and every state parliament vote themselves anywhere between a 5-to-25% payrise every stinking year. If they can't get a pay-rise for themselves, they vote for an increase in travel allowances - don't they, *Mr* Iemma? (I use the "Mr" very loosely because people of your ilk are not worthy of respect in any way shape or form!)

The people in this country who ARE worthy of respect are the ones who CLEAN UP the FUCK-UPS of politicians when it gets to the point where their bullshit lies cannot save them any longer!

So... we have members of the MSM saying Muslims are worthy of respect.
We have feminists saying that they're worthy of respect.
We have dole-bludgers saying that they deserve something for nothing.
We have drug using shithead football players saying that they're worthy of respect.
We have politicians who say that they could make more money in private enterprise because of their skills and they deserve respect. Not only do I doubt that a shithouse rat makes anything near what these bludgers do (yet does it better) but the shithouse rat also does not control the budget and vote themselves constant pay rises while everyone else in the country seems to have permission to go fuck themselves!

"We don't believe the DVA handled this very well, nowhere near sensitively enough.

NO SHIT, Sherlock - What gave away the clue???

"They knew he was not a mentally well man. The fact is the tightness of government money had driven this man to an extreme act; the same government he once put his life on the line for."

The tightness of government money? It's NOT THEIR FUCKING MONEY!!!
Not only do they control OUR money as taxpayers - they can't control it very well. It might be better said that they couldn't run a greasy stick up the snatch of a $5 whore let alone the budget of an entire country!

Fellow prison officers said Mr Heffernan had been deeply disturbed after thinking a surprise exercise in which a female guard was "taken hostage" by inmates was real.
"It wasn't a good thing to have happen to a Vietnam vet," a source said.

Nah - it was a perfectly reasonable act. Get someone who was in the jungles of Vietnam and a mental condition because of it and then scare the shit out of him by helping him relive the days that made him into the mental wreck that he is now.

"The DVA was far too officious. They were technically correct but they were dealing with a man who needed real compassion and care," he said.

Just him? He's the only one needing real compassion and care? Nobody else? They're all good to go except for him? Right.

"He was never ignored," the source said.

BULL-FUCKING-SHIT!!!! They're ALL ignored unless they get loud about it. A Veteran just about HAS to shove a gun in the face of a government official to get the prick off their high horse and to DO something.

For what it's worth - I've never been in the defence forces as my father banned me from joining due to what he went through. I know enough from friends who are ex-defence, Vietnam Vets, Korean Vets, an Uncle who landed at Gallipoli and talking to diggers over the years that if this country needs a soldier, a RAAFie or a Sailor, they can look not in my direction because you can do the honourable thing to serve your country - then your country says "FUCK YOU" when it's safe again.

Well, Minister for Veterans Affairs - maybe someone will shove that gun on your face instead of their own and MAYBE those who actually DO SERVE their country will get a fair shake instead of some know-nothing shithead behind a desk in Canberra who does nothing for anyone but themselves.

Convenient Canadians (& Australians)`

I was sent this by a mate in Canada.

While the numbers of Australians in the region are nowhere near 50,000, there is still a large number of "Convenient Aussies" who go: "I moved to a region where it is well known that there will be strife of some sort as it's been here for years but it's still the responsibility of the government (to which I pay no taxes), to come and rescue my stupid, pathetic arse - and then to cop it sweet when I say that they didn't come quick enough!"

What further annoys me is that I hear that the Police in Victoria are following suit of the USA in that they're not allowed to state appearance of a race when trying to locate a suspect yet people of the same appearance stand up and proudly say SHIT like "I'm a Lebanese-Australian!" or "I'm an Asian-Australian!" or "I'm Scottish-Australian!" (for balance).

What the fuck are you? Are you Lebanese, Asian, Scottish or Australian? If you're one of the former, then FUCK OFF back there! If you can't come here and proudly proclaim to be an Aussie and accept us like we accept you then who hell needs your ungrateful, bludging arse? PISS OFF!

Same goes for DICKHEADS in the media like Spoonman (OK - I don't think he is that bad but while in the car the other night, I did hear him ADD to the division in this country by referring to some woman as a "Lebanese-Australian"). This joker makes sense when I've listened to him but like all radio shows, I'm not going to give them credence by calling in and saying the usual shit like "Long time listener, First time caller....".

Here is the article from the Toronto Sun...

Convenient Canadians
By PETER WORTHINGTON

What in heaven's name are 50,000 Canadians doing in Lebanon?

Surely they can't all be there for a wedding, or a family reunion, or an academic conference, or even as tourists?

The estimated 50,000 are roughly 20% of all the Lebanese who have become Canadian citizens -- about 250,000 of 'em.

Put another way, there are twice as many Canadians in Lebanon as there are Canadians in the army.

Are they all in Lebanon for a visit? Hardly.

Most are dual-citizenship Canadians who've chosen to return to the motherland to live as Lebanese -- until trouble strikes and then they want the Canadian government to rescue them, not the Lebanese government.

Under terms of Canada's dual citizenship policy, the country in which people choose to live, or to visit, takes precedence over Canadian law -- which isn't to say we, as a country, shouldn't help people in trouble.

Frankly, any dual-citizenship Canadian who chooses to live in one of the danger areas of the world should not expect Canada to rush to his aid and rescue him and relatives when danger threatens.

Instead, appeal to the government you prefer to live under, rather than the Canadian one.

Now Canada is chartering seven ships and a bunch of aircraft to rescue these citizens, many of whom have chosen not to live in Canada. Does Canada have an obligation to be responsible for them? The cost to taxpayers of removing tens of thousands from Lebanon is enormous.

How many, one wonders, of these people will move back to Lebanon when the crisis is over and security is restored -- assuming it ever will be in Lebanon?

The view that "a Canadian is a Canadian" and all should be treated equally may need revising.

Why should the government be responsible for naturalized citizens who return to live in a dangerous country in which they are also citizens?

Tourists or short-term visitors are in a different category.

Some MPs have suggested Canadians in Lebanon whose principal country of residence is Canada, should be rescued first, since those whose primary home is Lebanon are better able to survive than visitors.

Although Lebanese have settled in Canada for well over a century and are productive citizens, Canada's current policies risk clogging the country with people who shouldn't be here and whom we don't want.

Already, we won't deport terrorist suspects or criminals if there's fear they may be executed or tortured in their birth country. This means virtually no bad guy can be deported to the Middle East.

Canadians of Syrian or Iranian descent should avoid visiting Damascus or Tehran where they're in danger of being grabbed on phony charges -- which in no way is to suggest that the Lebanese Canadians being evacuated have done anything illegal.

We already have a self-described al-Qaida family in Canada, with one member charged with murdering an American soldier in Afghanistan. Many feel this family doesn't deserve to be Canadian, since their allegiance is to an enemy of Canada.

Canada accepts that dual citizens have special rights. But the policy needs fine-tuning. It can be argued -- as some countries do -- that allegiance should be to one country, not two or three.

If someone wants to be a Canadian, that person should give up citizenship in his birth country.

An exception should be made with the U.S. on grounds that we are geographically, traditionally and culturally close.

But for other immigrants, the choice should be one citizenship and one passport.

It's too late now for Lebanon, where 50,000 Canadians outnumber Americans by a two-to-one ratio.

Ludicrous. Change the law before the next crisis!

"The LARK Program"

In keeping with my recent inability to post anything even remotely original (as I seem to be sent things that, to me, are funnier and more interesting), here is my latest offering. Enjoy :)

The LARK PROGRAM

A female libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive insurgent (terrorist) being held in Guantanamo Bay. She received back the following reply:

Dear Concerned Citizen,

Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Quaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short.

In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday.

Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in our letter of complaint. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers.

We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.

Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling.

Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually), since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka -- over time.

Just remember that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his religious beliefs" -- wasn't that how you put it?

Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. You take good care of Ahmed - and remember...we'll be watching.

Good luck!

Cordially, your friend,

Don Rumsfeld

[Note: obviously the letter wasn't written by Donald Rumsfeld but it reads better that way :) ]

BREAKING NEWS:- Muslim Heaven!

sent to me via email - probably blogged somewhere else but I just HAD to post it :)

Muslim Heaven, June 13, 2006

Al Qaeda leader "Abu Musab al-Zarqawi", killed by US Forces in Iraq last week, has just met with the first of his 72 virgins that Allah promised !!

Daily News reporter Jack Hoff captured THIS exclusive photo of Mr al-Zarqawi with his first virgin.

"Allah is good!"

What you do now can kill your grandchildren???

I've just finished watching 'The Ghost in your Genes' - a topic on the Horizon program shown last week on SBS.

This documentary virtually confirmed something I had long believed and often been told to be bunk by "those who know" - or think they know.

What the show spoke about was an emerging science in genetic research called epigenetics, or, if I understand correctly, the study of genes retaining some memory of the previous generations from whence they came.

Previous scientific thought suggested that your genes were your genes and that their sequence was locked into place and no matter what you did in your life, the genes that you pass on to your children will be those that you were given upon your own conception.

So, instead of your offspring (unless you're like me where nature has decreed that you are never, never, never, ever, ever, ever going to be allowed to breed :) being given a clean genome sequence, they will actually get one from you that has been affected by your life experiences. If you've been through a traumatic experience; famine; good harvests; no stress, etc. etc., the differences will be reflected in your future generations.
Proof of this has been found in children and grandchildren of survivors of the Jewish Holocaust in the 1940's.

Before you say: "Ah, but that's just a Jewish thing to whinge and complain the way they do like on TV - there are no flow-through effects there!", think about this.... Studies have been done on women who were pregnant and present at the site of the 9/11 attacks on the Twin Towers in New York City. A child that had not been born yet cannot be affected by 'teachings' yet it shows that they were.
Surprisingly, it was only children who were in the third trimester at the time of the attacks who were affected.

Other tests were done on lab rats where they were exposed to a toxin that would flip a switch on one of their genetic elements. Not only did the switch get reflected in their offspring but this was carried through subsequent generations. Inference is given that non-exposed rats continued with their genetic structure unchanged.

I just know that this topic will have some serious detractors and supporters in the scientific world. Myself, I am a supporter. I have long believed that, as the offspring of a violent alcoholic, that I have the same weakness for addiction - this is why I knew from an early age that I should never, ever start drinking. Well, that and the fact that I am a totally cheap bastard and don't want to have to pay stupid amounts of money for a good time that I'll never remember anyway :)
Considering that I'm a shit-stirrer as well and have no problem walking into a pub out west and asking for a glass of milk just to see the look on the face of the publican and the people in the bar. Quite a few have said that either I can fight or I'm just nuts. I just say that I like milk :)

Now, considering that people have always been of the opinion that "my life is my life" and what I do to it won't affect anyone else, let alone their offspring - what genetic switches are being flipped in people here in Australia now that we are regarded as one of the highest users (per capita) of 'social' drug use - marijuana, ecstacy, ice, etc? Don't forget alcohol in that mix either.

What genetic switches have been 'flipped' in those around us who've abused their bodies in the belief that they will just pass on a 'clean' genome sequence?

Kinda scary, eh?

Maybe I should be glad....

Maybe I should be glad that I'm single? I get to avoid all of this:

You Can't Win (or Why Men Die First)

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race -- you're a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework -- you're a pansy.

If you work too hard -- there's never any time for her.

If you don't work enough -- you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay -- this is exploitation.

If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay -- you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her -- that is favouritism.

If she gets a job ahead of you -- it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks -- it's sexual harassment.

If you keep quiet -- it's male indifference.

If you cry -- you're a wimp.

If you don't -- you're an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her -- you're a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you -- she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy -- that's domination.

If SHE asks you -- it's a favour.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear -- you're a pervert.

If you don't -- you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape -- you're sexist.

If you don't -- you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape -- you're vain.

If you don't -- you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers -- you're after something.

If you don't -- you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements -- you're full of yourself.

If you're not -- you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache -- she's tired.

If you have a headache -- you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often -- you're oversexed.

If you don't -- there must be someone else.

Men die first because they want to!

Just had to post this - score is now 0 for 7.

Dancing on Ice

Channel 9 have managed to do it again....

In the ever-increasing world of broadcasters wanting to do a reality show where they can make some bucks by having people call in to vote for their "favourite"-whatever, the "Fuck off, already" Eddie Maguire crowd are trying to cash in on another celebrity-based show.

I know that Channel 7 has run a couple of seasons of this sort of thing with "Dancing with the Stars" but I refused to watch that on the basis that if I want to see dancers competing, then I will watch some DANCERS and not the Obliviots that inhabit TV already.

Channel 7 further delved into the "celebrity" gene pool by creating another celebrity show this time with singing. I won't watch Australian Idle (I know how it's spelt and this way is more relevant!) and music videos aren't worth watching anymore thanks to what passes for "talent" in the music world now. Same goes for radio but the killer there are the untalented fuckwits that are employed as announcers.

Can anyone see where this is going?

Yep - it ALL comes down to the announcers, the presenters, the people out front!

Ch7 had the diminutive little prick that was on Hey Hey It's Saturday not enough years ago. What was it's name? Daryl Sommers? The head on the stick had more talent! At least Grant Denyer on the singing one doesn't seem to be too bad - at least he can drive a car.

So - back to Ch9.
Instead of getting someone with any sort of on-air charisma, they've gone to the pot where they find the new presenters for Funniest Home Videos (a misnomer in itself). I'm bloody certain that the only way some of those birds get the job on that show is by how long they took it on the board room table!
For Dancing on Ice, they pick some saucepan shuffler by the name of Jamie Durie (is that how you spell it? Who cares....). His co-host is some bird who is so wooden in her performance that they must have injected her with viagra or something. If you picked her up off a street corner, you'd get splinters in your cock!

Needless to say, I did tape the show because I knew that Ch9 was going to have endless advertisements with opinions from dickhead presenters and more endless replays of boring routines. Basically, I just wanted to see one show to perve on the girlies in their minimal costumes. While they looked very pleasing, I can't stand it anymore and even with the fast-forward button being worked overtime, the show is still totally unwatchable.

Good thing for me, I guess. Can go back to my own dance classes instead of watching someone else have fun :)
Thanks Channel 9 for making the decision so easy! :)

QR for Careers???

What the??!!

First, I hear an advertisement on the radio stating that Queensland Rail, now known as QR, has a Careers webpage. Then, upon looking at the webpage, I see that some cock-biter has suggested that QR offers "…rewarding career opportunities in areas like: Information Technology…"

Who the fuck do they think they are kidding???

If there is anything to be said, it is that Queensland Rail DOES NOT offer anything resembling a rewarding career in Information Technology!! - not unless you happen to be an unskilled dickhead with a leaning towards being a political player who doesn't care who they step on; use; abuse; deceive; and will suck copious quantities of dick if it means that they can make someone else look bad while making themselves look good.

Queensland Rail will happily allow it's "rewarding career" prospects wallow in go-nowhere jobs where there is NO chance of advancement unless someone dies, or leaves the organisation for a company where their skills are acknowledged and appreciated.

All you IT Graduates: BE WARNED!! Don't listen to the spin! Don't believe the SHIT!

They will tell you that QR is a respected leader in the IT field. BULLSHIT!!

Queensland Rail is known far and wide in the IT industry as being stocked predominantly with people who *think* they know what they're doing when in reality they wouldn't know shit from clay. The people who are truly skilled and do give a rat's arse about the quality of their work, just do their jobs without the need to run to a manager's office to say how good they are.

So too should ALL Queensland Rail employees be concerned should they have access to email. Even though an agreement may be in place yet NOT be legally binding: non-security-cleared factions will happily take it upon themselves to NOT work with the formal Security section in preventing SPAM and assorted unwanted, unsolicited, non-work-related emails into the organisation, yet will NOT provide the software that they use themselves to entrap employees to locate it. Management will also happily use illegal entrapment techniques and policies to reduce employee numbers while claiming that there is a No Forced Redundancy policy.

Is this software made avaliable to employees to assist them in cleaning up their machines so that anything that is offensive in nature can be removed? NO!

Is information sent around saying that an employee can be sacked if a file exists in a temporary directory because Windows does NOT clean up after itself? NO!

Note: this is not directed to the 2 or 3 managers in IT in the organisation that actually give a rat's arse about their staff. Their jobs are hard enough without being lumped in with the rest of the morons that are running the joint.

Spot the difference...

Gregory Itzen (actor)
Plays US President Charles Logan in '24' (Fox)
(pic from IMDB)


Peter Beattie (politician)
Plays at being Queensland Premier
A total nobody on the world stage.
(pic from somewhere - who fucking cares)


Spot the difference....

One is an actor working overtime to portray himself as an incompetent imbecile at every conceivable opportunity. The other one *... hmmm....

(Let's start this one again)

One is a politician on TV who does things that benefits his public image while doing nothing useful for the people while the other one *.... (SHIT!)

(Take: 3)

One runs around with no idea of what he is doing in his job and blames everyone else for his shortcomings while *... (oh, COME ON!! Give me a fucking break here!)

(Attempt #4)

One knows that he is an actor whose primary role it is to bullshit the public into thinking that he is someone he is not while the oth*.... (FUCK IT!!!!)

Aussie Dunny Pets

There! You see??!! I told you that the noise coming out of the bog was from the Barking Dunny Spider, but did you believe me? NOOOOO-OOOOO....

The problem with this image is that I know for a fact that these bastards can jump - finding that there would not only help you evacuate your bowels in record time but would make you jump pretty high as well!

I dunno where the pic was taken - just came in an email from a mate. Looks like a female Huntsman to me. Even in the shitter, some women just can't leave you alone :)

0 for 6 (TMI Files)

Well... seeing as I'm not very good at lying, I will 'fess up right from the word go that I am going to steal the idea of the 'TMI Files' from my mate Nilknarf.

I figure that my mates have pretty much had a gutful of me whinging about not being able to find a woman that can tolerate me, so I'll dump it on that poor sod that reads my blog (whomever you are - sorry about this :)

Well... my score now stands at none for 6. That's not bad when you consider that I'm not really trying that hard to drive people away.

I registered on a dating site (NO! Not RSVP or AMM - bleh :P ) about 2 months ago as I figured that someone isn't going to magically turn up and that I need to actually go looking and that maybe someone on there is going to be desperate enough to want someone like me. HA! More fool me.
Still, one has to at least try this sometime as a friend (she's #2) that I was interested in did say to find someone younger and with less baggage. The problem there being that this friend is still the pick of the crop because she is nobody's fool -- but I took her advice and respected her wishes and started my search anyway.

I don't know about anyone else who has tried this, but I seem to find an extraordinary number of women who are looking for someone with a particular build and has integrity and honesty and caring etc etc etc (qualities which I believe I have) yet I seem to consistently find those who are too busy in their lives to have someone else there after their careers and such (not counting #2 from above - I have nothing negative to say about her! She remembers herself as she was 10 years ago - I only knew her as she is now and I still say that she is the choice selection! :)

I will keep trying but I long for the day when I find a woman who means what she says and says what she means.
If I'm not good enough: say so.
If you've found someone better: say so.
If you're looking for someone short, skinny, weak, domineering and dishonourable: say so.
Just don't LIE about what you want so that you can appear superior to your girlfriends or appear to have your head altogether with what you want. If you want a bloke who talks shit and can't do anything useful with his life other than work on his crappy car worth all of $300 with $5,000 wheels on it, then don't write a profile that says that you want a bloke who won't make you cry; will be honest and caring; and won't try to bang you up the arse in a public park!

Say what you mean - mean what you say.
It just seems to me that women pretend to want a bloke that will treat her with respect and dignity and like a lady - but when he comes along, he is the LAST thing they want.

(again - friend from above.... #2 of the 6 (so far) is NOT included in the group-of-liars :) Just thought I'd better qualify that....

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong in my points but experience is teaching me different.

Weird things in my head #0001

I figure that it's about time I stopped griping about the incompetent moron politicians and premier of Queensland and maybe share a few more things with the person who reads my blog (thanks! :)

Those who know me know that I have a lot of weird thoughts come out of my head at times and they always seem to miss the "idiotic filter" on the way out and are thus shared with the world. In the case of this blog, I'll just start again at one - the numbering system is required because it won't be the last dumb thing I will say or think in my life :)

-----

On the way back from the shops this afternoon (having a coffee and reading news printed out from various news sites and Townhall.com) I was about 1.5km from home on the bike (pedal kind) after having had a nice short blast of a ride (about 5km) with a tailwind (the best kind :)

Coming to the top of a hill, past goes this Toyota Landcruiser dual-cab 4-wheel drive with what I initially thought was a sheep on the back.

First thought was:

Oh? He's taking his girlfriend for a drive?

Upon looking again, I realised that this sheep wasn't a sheep but was actually a dog - or to be more precise, a labradoodle (the crossbreeding of a labrador with a poodle which gives a really good dog for people requiring a guide dog for the blind).

Next thought was: (as I like animals)

Hey... That's really nice of that blind guy to take his dog for a ride....

Pause.....

Hey - Waitaminit????

:)

Don't Try This At Home

If you are ready for the adventure of a lifetime, TRY THIS:

Enter Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq illegally. Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of
that nonsense.

Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and your entire family. Demand bilingual nurses and doctors. Demand free bilingual local government forms, bulletins, etc. Procreate abundantly.

Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behaviour with, "It is a cultural thing; you wouldn't understand mate."
Keep your Australian identity strong.

Fly the your national flag from your rooftop, or proudly display it in your front window or on your car bumper.

Speak only English at home and in public and insist that your children do likewise. Demand classes on English and Australian culture in the Muslim school system.

Demand a local country driver license. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to legitimise your unauthorised, illegal, presence in Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq. Drive around with no liability insurance and ignore local traffic laws. Insist that local country, law enforcement teach English to all its officers.

Good luck! You'll soon be dead.

Because it will never happen in Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq or any other country in the world except right here in Australia. For we are run by soft, politically correct politicians, that are too scared to "offend" anyone.

If you agree, pass it on.
If you don't, go ahead and try the above in Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq. Better yet: piss off there and see how far your namby-pamby left-wing bullshit gets you.

Noah to build an Ark in Australia

In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Melbourne, Australia, as an illegal immigrant and said,

"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying,

"You have six months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights".

Noah was dubious about the project, because unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights is normal in Melbourne, but he knew he must bow to the will of the Lord.

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his revered quarter acre section....but no ark.

"Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "but things have changed. I needed a
building consent from the council,. I've been arguing with the FESA about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I've violated the zoning laws by building the Ark on my property and exceeding the height limitations. We then had to go to Arbitration for a decision.

Then the electricity companies demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. The Greens have placed a ban on cutting local timber in order to save the Koala . I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the birds. But no go!

When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. As well, they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Aborigines have forbidden the project to continue unless witchetty grubs are permitted on the Ark and indigenous tribes own half the Ark after I have designed and built it. I also have to agree to pay $150 Billion for depriving Aboriginals of traditional lands by means of inundation, which they allege, is simply a case of "holy colonization".

I am bogged down in further negotiations on multimillion payments for rights to sail the Ark on the seas of The Pacific. Other Aboriginals tribes have sued me because they allege the Ark is a European version of the Aboriginal ancient canoe and they have appealed to the Aboriginal Cultural Tribunal to declare it sacred.

Then the Environmental Court ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many Aborigines I'm supposed to hire for my building crew and the requirement for separate female toilets in case I hire a woman. Also, the trade unions say I can't use my sons.

They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark building experience, and they expect a day in lieu if we work weekends or public holidays plus holiday day pay and rain allowances.

OSH has decreed each employee must be equipped with a life jacket and personal life raft even though we are building on the mountain. When I pointed this out, they made me provide ice axes and climbing boots for each employee and their families, and harnesses because I was working over 3 metres in height.

To make matters worse, the Tax Department seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

At first the Liberal government was in favour of my project because it created building jobs on our mountain. Then they were shocked by an opinion poll which revealed that 99% of all Australians opposed a devastating flood, and after an emergency cabinet meeting, John Howard announced that the coalition had never favoured floods as a means of solving problems and was totally opposed to the project (unless future opinion polls revealed popular support for the Ark).

She said "God should sit down and talk sensibly about the issues."

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to finish this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked,

"You mean, You're not going to destroy the world?".
"No," said the Lord. "The Australian Government beat me to it."

Compulsory Reading?

They should make this mandatory reading for all University students. There will be some who will nod knowingly and the rest probably need the message pounded between their eyes a few times....

A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

"You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one,"the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing ....and," pausing to take another drink of beer......

The Senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and said,
"You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young........so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little shithead: what are you doing for the next generation?"

... and that's just the feds!

So, it is costing the Australian taxpayer $16million to send our politicians on overseas trips. Does this figure include just the federal parliament or all of the bludgers in the state governments as well? What about local councillors who think that city and shire budgets are there for them to use as personal pocket money?

I don't have a problem with John Howard as such as he *is* the Prime Minister and is the elected leader of the country. What I do have a problem with is a half-witted MORON like Queensland Premier, Peter Beattie going on overseas trips as part of some delegation for which he is so UNqualified to attend as well as being a total nothing on the world stage.

I think that if Petie Beatter is going to spend much-needed state funds on a trip overseas - the least the fuckwit can do is stay there and not come back!

Do It! Do It!!

Milat threatens suicide.

I don't particularly have a dislike for Ivan Milat as I don't know the bloke but what I do have a problem with him being in prison is that he is costing ... how much is it again? $150,000 a year? That much taxpayer money being wasted to keep him locked up, given 3 squares a day and a bed when it is blatantly obvious that he can never be released.

My question now is: where do I send the box of aspirin and the razor blades?

Bucky the Beaver: "Those choppers are HUGE!!"

Renowned cleric for the worship of Muhammed The Paedophile (peace be upon him) says that Australian PM, John Howard, should convert to Islam.

Sorry, dude - I understand that John Howard already has a religion and it seemingly has nothing to do with mutilating or degrading women and having sex with livestock. Nor does it worship a child rapist cum warmonger and preacher of hate.

"Islam is the absolute truth.

"I say to all infidels, it is useless to fight Islam for you will be destroyed and Islam will win absolutely."

Onlookers roared approval as Bashir urged them to "fight fanatically" for their religion.

Seemingly, he wasn't treated for senility while he played arse-bandit in prison.

Bashir, whose convoy was escorted from the capital by police motorcycle outriders, stopped twice along the 500km journey to pray, including once in a service station prayer room, where he again slammed Australia's government as "kaffirs", or unbelievers.

Isn't it funny how if I were to refer to someone as a "Kaffir", I would most likely be carted off to a holding cell and charged with some form of hate speech - not to mention the trial by media that would be executed by the MORONS who believe that Islam is the religion of peace.

Kaf·fir also Kaf·ir

1. Offensive.

1. A Xhosa.
2. often kaffir Used especially in southern Africa as a disparaging term for a Black person.

2. Kafir A Nuristani.
3. also kaffir Islam. An infidel.

So, advice is now being dispensed by a cretin to world leaders on how the world should be run. But wait! How can the advice be sound when the same person utters quotes along the lines of:

Bashir urges Muslims to fight infidels

when it is a known fact that, according to the rule of The Paedophile (peace be upon him), anyone who is not a Muslim is an infidel? Does that also mean that anyone who isn't fashioning themselves after The Prophet is therefore not a paedophile and doesn't think it's OK to rape children and livestock?

Since neither a goat, a camel nor a child (of either sex) is remotely attractive to me in any way shape or form, I guess I will have to settle for being a Kaffir.

Before anyone questions why I equate Islam with being The Cult of The Paedophile, think about this:

- You do not worship Satan if you live for peace and honour and honesty and lightness in your life.
- You do not join Scientology if you never want to leave Earth in a spaceship.
- You do not follow Buddhism if violence is your 'thing'.
- You do not worship Jesus if you hate Jews.

Yet, if the person whose teachings you follow is someone who was well into adulthood and 'started' on a girl when she was 6 and had your first child by her when she was 9. You're either a member of NAMBLA or you condone child rape. There is NO reasonable excuse to accept this nor can the facts be refuted.

Diet Coke & Mentos

Seemingly a slow news day on www.news.com.au. One may also suggest a slow blog day for me as well :)

There is a report on the site about how Mentos dropped into a bottle of Diet Coke will produce a geyser effect.

I suppose you have to do *something* with Diet Coke - the shit isn't fit for drinking!

Check out this for what people with too much time on their hands can do with info like this.... :)

Survey Says....

Here we go again....

The Royal Automobile Club of Queensland (RACQ)(emphasis on 'Automobile') are holding another What Cheeses You Off? survey to gauge driver attitudes on the roads - in Queensland, presumably.

The problem is that, for some reason, the RACQ seems to think that it is qualified to comment on driver attitudes to cyclists and that it somehow caters to cyclists.

Screaming big, billboard-sized, mental note to RACQ - YOU DON'T!!!
You don't cater to cyclists and your poor-excuse-for-toilet-paper members magazine, The Road Ahead, displays this on almost a monthly basis with some form of half-witted comment from the magazine editor.

What this jerkoff fails to realise is that the RACQ is NOT about roads and who should use them but about AUTOMOBILES and their owners. The RACQ isn't even very good at their core audience anyway as people like me who own a rarely-driven classic that ISN'T 30 years old are forced to pay full registration in Queensland and that the eastern states are NOT alligned in their registration laws. It costs me $55 just in registration fees to back this car onto the road before anything else because it does not get driven every day or every weekend.

Here's a simple method to use....
A person sitting behind the steering wheel in a car is NOT a 'driver'.
A person sitting on the seat of a bicycle is NOT a 'cyclist'.

A driver knows their vehicle; knows the law; doesn't cruise the roads in a fashion that impedes the progress of other road users; they 'drive' to the conditions of the road and weather; they USE THEIR MIRRORS; they move over for emergency vehicles; and generally show courtesy on the road.
Everyone else, which means 98% of the driving public in Queensland, is a 'Car Operator'! They know how to push this pedal to push this thingy over to there and pull another thingy to make a flicky noise and to turn a round whatsit in order to get their 2-tonne weapon the 1.5km to the shops to get a newspaper - or to cruise to work following the identical route of a railway line or bus line (mainly in Brisbane).

A 'cyclist' knows their bicycle; they know how to ride; they look ahead to ride defensively; they keep to the left and know the road rules; they are aware that they tun a great chance of arriving DEAD if they do even a remotely stupid thing; and they too know courtesy on the roads. They are also required to take some liberties with road rules (in safety) because situations demand it. Not everyone in colourful lycra is a cyclist - a $4000 bicycle does not a cyclist make!
Everyone else on a bike is a 'bike-rider'. They're the ones who ride without due care and attention to their surroundings and show neither courtesy nor common sense when on the roads. THIS is the bracket that the dickhead editor of The Road Ahead seems inclined to lump EVERY person on a bicycle into. I wouldn't mind betting that he is one of the car-operators that thinks it's OK to verbally and physically attacks cyclists on the road as well.

I am NOT a rabid pro-green moron either. I have a hotrod and an imported American V8 in the shed as well as holding a truck licence, a motorbike licence, and I know the road rules better than most. I object to some FOOL editor thinking that it is OK to attack me as a cyclist when he doesn't know SHIT about the state of the roads and does NOTHING to promote the reality that ALL taxpayers are entitled to use the roads and that registration fees DO NOT pay for the bitumen that we all use!
My taxes pay for those roads just like those of everyone else.

So - pull your fucking head in, you wannabe-journalist cock-biter and get out on the road on a bicycle and try to actually commute anywhere in Brisbane, on the Gold Coast or on the Sunshine Coast WITHOUT getting DEAD thanks to fuckwits like you who have no idea what it's like out there and think that roads are just for cars!

While we're on the subject of wannabe-journalist cock-biters, someone drag that shithead Mike O'Connor from The Crappier Mail out of the Wickham and put him on a bicycle on Coronation drive during peak hour while all the lazy arsewipes in their one-occupant vehicles are trying to get home while stuck in that 5km carpark!

Almost but not quite....

The news from Victoria is that Judge re-education is 'unnecessary'.

Is it? Is it, really?

I disagree.
I don't just disagree kinda - I disagree vehemently!

Judges, for the most part, are so detached from everyday society that they may as well live in the same prisons that they don't send the crims to.

"We will be sitting again this week. It's very simple - get rid of suspended sentencing."

What is this rubbish about suspended sentencing anyway? Who came up with this crock of shit? Was it created by some fool magistrate who wants to pretend that he's some kind of touchy-feely social worker and that every tortured soul can be saved?

"You've been a bad bugger lately and I've seen you in my court several times before even though I'm not allowed to make reference to that fact or consider it in making a judgement. Since you say that you have remorse and that you feel bad about the other 15 times you committed the same crime, I will let you out onto the streets and take you on your word that you won't do it again.
"What's that?
"Ahhh - who cares about what law-abiding society thinks - they're not going to break the law as retribution for my stupidity now, will they?
"Go now - be free and do as you will. I'm a judge and I answer to nobody!"

Can I be a judge too? I'm sure that I can teach myself to not know how much a loaf of bread costs anymore or that it's OK to drive the car after half-a-carafe of sherry or cognac (gift from an equally inept politician for letting his son off the hook).

I know for a fact that I will be able to handle the $215,000 a year that a normal scungy magistrate makes (in WA, anyway) not counting the car and kickbacks.

Mr Hulls said continued professional development would help judicial officers respond to community expectations.

"The Bracks government is committed to modernising the legal system," he said in the Herald Sun.

So, which is it? Helping judicial officers respond to community expectations or having the Brack's government 'modernise' the legal system?
These are mutually exclusive events going on what I hear is going on in 'Brackistan'.