Today Tonight or just a C*** Of An Affair

So I take it that there is a man shortage in Australia at the moment if one is to believe Today Tonight on Channel 7.

What is it about these gossip column shows that seem to think that they are a news program? What is it about the presenters that make them think that if they have a stern look on their faces and go "tsk tsk" that their words mean anything to anyone? Do they think that they are able to change the attitude of the world with their limited experiences and half-baked opinions? I mean, they can't even correctly use simple terminology when they speak, let alone be a moral judge of anything!

OK - before I get sidetracked too much more: The Great Aussie Man Drought

Australia is officially in a "man drought", with more young women than men. To help women out, we found the suburbs with the most single men.

Let me guess how this story got started…. There is this newsroom in the land of Nod of almost-literate, wannabe-professional writers calling themselves 'journalists'. One of the females states that there are no good men left in the world after having done her latest Sex-In-The-City meaningful overnight interlude with someone whose name she can't remember, but it is obviously his fault somehow that she was left unsatiated. Someone thinks: **BOING** "we can make a story out of this!" (while ignoring the infinite number of stories that they could be doing that would actually mean something, like: why are the politicians seeking to introduce more laws for road-users when the police don't enforce the laws we already have?)
[Before anyone asks, I only saw this story because the TV was on for background noise while I happened to be working on something more important]

Maybe there is someone from Channel 7 who can tell me just what it is that makes a man desirable to a woman? Let me tell you for A FACT that it ISN'T having a decent job, a home to call his own, a nice car, clean habits, and good friends! In fact, it seems that in teaching oneself to cook, clean, wash, iron, sew (kinda), type, as well as the outside chores and being good with one's hands to the point that one can fix or build most things that he sets his mind to, apparently is a great turnoff for most women. I wonder if it has something to do with not actually being needed for anything other than companionship?
[Before I cop it about this one, when I say 'companionship': I mean just that. I don't mean 'sex slave' or any other kind of slave!]

The facts of this reality is that seemingly women want imitation bad boys. They want these skinny little freaks with poofy little tattoos. The little boys are the same height as the woman and wear with an overpriced, backwards-facing hat on their head and a ridiculous little car that "...looks so cute". The car isn't worth half of what they spent on it and could have bought a property instead had they had anything resembling a clue about what they were doing. Did I also mention that these women also like to be treated like dirt? The little boy that they chose to be theirs also (usually) has the attitude of a rottweiler in the frame of a chihuahua - and since the girl is the only one they can dominate, well you do the math.

As for the ones who don't want the bad boy, they're the ones that have already been used and abused and have kids already -or- have this notion in their head that spitting out a series of screaming shit-machines is the next thing they need to do with their lives.

Let me ask you this before we go any further…. Do you think that there are enough people on this planet already? Are there enough starving children in Africa and India? Instead of bowing to some should-have-long-been-bred-out need to procreate, would it not be far wiser to give some kid that has already been born a good start at becoming the next generation rather than allowing him or her to die simply because the one you wanted had to be your own?
Should you decide to have kids of your own, just remember that you are still 18 or 20 or whatever you are and still have the smarts (or lack thereof) of someone that age. Even though you may be called a 'mother', you have not gained the wisdom of the ages simply because you became a sperm receptacle while in a drunken stupor.

Anyway - back to the rant at hand… man shortage.

Here are my tips for a bloke to use if he is to want a nice woman in Australia today:

1. Hang around bars and be drunk. Spewing on the footpath shows that you like to have fun and makes it you look cool.
2. Use all the foul language that you would around your mates - she doesn't act like a lady so there is no way she needs to be treated like one.
3. If she speaks to a bloke she works with while out of the office, slap her around a bit and call her a slut as they seem to like that.
4. Treat her like she is your property. Start a fight and be immature about it when another bloke even looks at her.
5. Treat her like a sex toy. Pretend that you're not really gay when you tell her that you want to "roll her over". She even expects you to make comment about a threesome with her best friend.
6. Show her no respect at all. Her opinion doesn't count either.
7. Consideration? Forget it. Don't you know that it is the dream of all women to find the most moronic lowlife so she can "change" him into the perfect man. If you do show her any consideration, you must be pussy-whipped and have had your nuts cut off.
8. She will complain about you being immature and that she can do nothing with you. Ignore this - this is really what she wants (she must do - otherwise, why would she stay?)

[You think I am being sarcastic and are joking, don't you?? I am not! This is what I see every goddamn day!!]

What to do if a bloke wants to stay single:
1. Be clean.
2. Be resourceful.
3. Be honest and honourable and be willing to be there at her side no matter when she needs you. Your idea of being a 'man' and hers are vastly different.
4. Be respectful & courteous. Treat her like a lady.
5. Be remotely mature about what you do in your life before she gets there. If she can't give you guidance on what you should and shouldn't do, you are no use to her.
6. Think of domestic violence as being abhorrent. You should never lift your hand to someone weaker and smaller than you anyway.
7. Drink in moderation and maintain your dignity and composure when out in public with her. Being well-behaved in such a way that will make you look like a good couple is just not on!
8. Dress well and know which knife and fork to use when at dinner.
9. Going out to dinner means a nice restaurant that doesn't always have steak & veg. The restaurant should not have a drive-thru lane nor "fries with that?"
10. Don't be anything that resembles a civilised and well-adjusted male - she desires the challenge to train and teach you to be "perfect".

It's funny...

I wonder sometimes.... (yeah, OK - I wonder about a lot of things but this one might actually make sense to someone other than myself :)

Being an avid reader of the blog of Nick & Nora Charles and their latest post: Weapons of Mass Traction, I started thinking about my opposition to SUVs.

Simply put, I oppose these vehicles not on the basis that they are destroying the planet or use too much fuel or any other melon-headed reason to do with being a saviour of nature who wants to tell the world how to live.

I don't like them for a number of reasons - the main one being that most in this country are 4-wheel-drive variants designed for going offroad. Now, when going offroad, you have beefier suspension that floats a lot more to compensate for rough roads. You also have additional driveline components intended to help you get through those rough patches - all of which you pay a premium for. They don't go fast like a sports car and they definitely don't handle like a sports car - but how do you often see them driven?

Simply put, I think that anyone who spends a shitload of money on a vehicle that is not used for it's intended purpose (ie: actually going offroad as opposed to having some diminutive female/pussified male at the controls who wants to show off to the world and never leaving the blacktop) is a waste. It demonstrates to me that the owner (usually driver) of this vehicle is an impractical moron whose driving skills usually match their intellect.

I like SUVs and trucks and sports cars and motorbikes and station wagons and bicycles and all modes of transport - but I don't give away my hard-taxed money to impress some fool down the street. Who the hell cares about their opinion? Why buy something designed to do a job and then not doing it? That's like hiring a prostitute to live in your home and then have her wash walls!

In saying this, my next vehicle will be slightly larger than the car I have now (1987 SAAB 9000 hatchback), which, incidently, has gone further offroad and carried far heavier loads than most of the wankers in South East Queensland who own SUVs. It can also turn corners and drive at 200kph should I so desire (but I don't). I want a Ford F250 (or a Dodge Ram) because I have had enough of the cocksuckers in their pristine-clean, never-seen-a-grass-footpath, Toyota Landcruisers trying to push me around. I want a truck, so I'm going to buy a truck.

Let's see you maggots in your wannabe 'truck' show me who is boss then! (I would go bigger and actually drive something I am licenced to drive, but it can be difficult to take 20+ tonnes of truck into an underground carpark to do the grocery shopping).
I think I will also include a sticker on the back: "Taxi Hunter" with a running tally of those who ignore the road rules and stop dead in front of me to pick up or drop a passenger. Use a mirror you so-called "professional drivers"!!

Greed kills!

Never before has there been a truer statement when it comes to dealing with the enforcement of road rules in this country. Greed Kills.

I recently made a blog entry about electronic billboards over various highways in SE Queensland and how, instead of traffic information, display mindless & pathetic quotes about speed and how it kills and to rest and such. Did the taxpayers fund such an expensive and ridiculous form of advertising? You bet they did!

So - here are these billboards at maybe 20km (guess) intervals along major highways with their slogans on them when we approach the Gateway Bridge, or maybe I should say "Gateway Parking Lot" as it was a *very* nice view from the top of the bridge as we sat there in wall-to-wall traffic. I wonder if an electronic billboard just before the exit onto the Gateway motorway could have said "Traffic Chaos near Airport - try another route!". Sure - not much help to visitors, but it would help as those who know their way around could use alternate routes.
What am I saying? That would involve common sense - something that Main Roads and Queensland Transport consider to be an urban legend. Their ignorance is boundless sometimes!

Anyway, the reason behind the post... Greed Kills.
I had friends visiting over the weekend and they thought that they would go shopping in Brisbane on Saturday morning and then go down to northern New South Wales on Sunday. Now, while I abhor the idea of venturing into traffic on the weekends in peak hours (ie: while Obliviots are looking for shopping malls and outlet stores to piddle-fart around in), you sometimes make these sacrifices for your friends. Some sacrifices are too great sometimes.

In the entire time I was driving around playing navigator, there was an endless supply of *... what was that term again? "Obliviots"? Oblivious idiots? Yes - that's them! Cruising in the fast lane and flanking any other vehicle beside them so that nobody could get to where they were going at the speed limit. On top of that, there actually were police out and about but what were they doing? Enforcing the speed limit.

Since WHEN was the only road rule that was to be enforced, the fucking speed limit??? What about talking on mobile phones & cruising the right lane? Driving dangerously? It is becoming blatantly evident that driving on the roads is a free-for-all exercise provided that you do not go over that magic number in the red circle!

Utter, utter incompetence and ignorance of their duty of care to each and every user of the roads. People have a responsibility to share the roads with other users but it seems that driving like you're retarded is a part of that priviledge as well.

Do you know what the problem was in the end? What caused the 20-odd kilometres of traffic chaos? A shopping centre.
The exit to the airport cannot handle the traffic that needs to use it at the moment with you often needing to close your eyes and hope for the best in order to come out the other side alive - THEN a dirty great collection of outlet stores open in order to further congest the roads.

"Good politician! Sit! Stay! Rollover!"

While I grumble quite a bit about the lying, cheating, stealing, brotherhood of back-stabbers known as politicians, and even agree with a mate when he says that maybe a few should be assassinated as a reminder to the rest that they should pull their socks up and get on with the job instead of jobs for the boys - sometimes they deserve praise for doing what is right.

Shifty acquaintance, Nick, once told me that if I happen to write to a policitian that I should put it on the blog. Here is one sent to the Premier of South Australia regarding a hit-and-run case of vehicular homocide committed by an ex-police prosecutor and now high-flying lawyer. This lowlife ran over a cyclist while driving drunk and then ran away and hid for several hours while his blood alcohol content came down. He was not tested for BAC by the senior police officer when he finally gave himself up anyway. Can anyone say "Corruption"?

It just proves the point that if you get a gun and kill someone you don't like, you can look forward to maybe 12-20 years jail depending on the judge. If you get a car and kill someone, you can get like this fool did and receive a $3,100 fine and a suspension from driving for 12 months or 2 years.

Anyway, this note was sent to the Premier of South Australia, Mike Rann, for his part in getting the case looked at again as well as donating some public funds to a charity created in the name of a female Australian cyclist (Amy Gillett) killed earlier this year in Germany while on a training ride.

Dear Premier Rann,

I understand that you were the individual that pushed for the Royal Commission into the (murderer) Eugene McGee and his actions in the death in the cyclist, Ian Humphries.

I would just like to say a hearty "Thank You" for your efforts (and that of your government as well, I would assume) in pursuing this matter and not allowing the lowlife McGee to thumb his nose at the law & justice.

I have also been informed that your government has also made a donation of $50,000 of public funds to the Amy Gillett SAFE foundation. Thanks is also warranted for this act of good will.

It is acts like this that demonstrate to the public what compassion and justice are all about. I hope you continue to make similar judgements for the people in South Australia for many years to come.

As a side-bar, would it be possible for you to send some instruction on how this can be achieved to your peer, Mr Peter Beattie, Premier of Queensland, on how to handle cases of injustice as well as cases of vehicular homocide involving cyclists?

Thank you for your time.

News

Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that complete SHIT passes for news in this country?? It must do:
- Britney (Shitme) Spears has a baby. Who the fuck cares???
- Rene Zellweger has split from her husband after 5 months. Don't bother wasting space telling me unless she has said that she's coming to knock on my door!

What WAS big news during the week was something that was reported on by the overly inept media of this country but they seemingly missed an underlying fact in the whole story.

• Bush Takes Blame for Slow Response to Hurricane Katrina

Mr Bush acknowledged the horrible suffering in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and said he was ultimately responsible for Washington's widely criticised response.

What was the point that they missed? Quite a large one, in fact.
It seems to me that the only people in this country who really have an opinion about George W Bush are the same ones who say that he is an illiterate moron. These are the same people who are easily led by the nose and bindly follow the one-sided (so-called) reporting that occurs in the (so-called) news media in this country.

Had they sat back and actually LISTENED to what he said (regardless of how he said it or if he stumbled or had it in big letters written in crayon) - they would have realised that he was being A MAN!! He took responsibility for the actions of people that he had no direct control over but, due to the nature of his office, the buck stops with him. He knows his position and he accepts it.

Let's start a short list of who WOULDN'T have taken responsibility nor acted like a real man?
- anyone with 'Kennedy' in their surname.
- anyone with 'Clinton' in their surname.

Seems to be a bluish trend here....

Bankstown (Sydney) High School Maths Exam

BANKSTOWN HIGH SCHOOL CITY OF BANKSTOWN

MATHEMATICS EXAM

NAME .......................................
GANG........................................

Time allowed 1 hour

1. If Mohamed lowers his WRX by 2 inches front and back and puts on stolen 18-inch Zepter wheels, how many inches has he originally lost from the stock suspension?

2. If Con needs 3 razors a day to stay clean shaved, how may razors will he need before he goes to the gym at 8.00 pm?

3. If Mustaffa runs 10 km from the Police in Lakemba to Punchbowl, then steals a car and drives another 5 km to Bankstown, how many kilometres has he travelled if he ends up hiding in Wiley Park?

4. Omar has 2 ounces of cocaine. He sells an "8 ball" to Hamil for $320.00 and 2 grams to Akhmed for $85.00 per gram. What is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it.?

5. If Ahmed receives $200.00 per week disability allowance from Centrelink, also works as a builder for his brother who pays him a further $400.00 per week, and then claims $10.00 per week education allowance from the Government for each of his 75 children for school, how much more does he need to buy a smashed Tarago from the auctions?

6. If the average spray can covers 22 square metres and the average letter is 8 square centimetres, how many letters can a tagger spray with 3 cans of paint?

7. If Soula needs 25 mls of wax per day to get rid of her facial hair, and Soula is only 19 years old, how many mls will her mother need if she is 47?

8. Mohamed has an AK-47 with 2 x 30 round clips. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting, how many drive-by shootings can he attend before he has to reload?

9. If Jim changes the oil in his Fish & Chips shop deep fryer every 18 months and this costs him $400.00, how often should he change the oil if he wants to spend only $180.00 per annum on new oil?

10. If Abdo runs a Donor Kebab shop and works as a Taxi driver on weekends and earns $1,200.00 per week, how much does Centrelink give him for his job search allowance?

11. If Bankstown's ethnic community is increasing at a rate of 3.5% per month, the overall population increasing at 2.1% per month, at what rate are the Aussies leaving?

Ineptitude +

Seems to me that being a single white male that isn't in politics is definitely a disadvantage in this country.

Be a drug addict and steal a car and run over someone: 2 years + treatment and caring for your problem.

Be an Australian-society hating sheet-head and pack rape some girls simply because they are Australian and some half-witted deadshit flies to your defence because you practice the 'religion of peace'.

Be a corrupt and inept judge who bullies your staff and gets caught out doing it: get paid half a million dollars and get a cushy job to keep you quiet.

Be an ex- police-prosecutor and run over a cyclist while driving drunk and then run away and hide: get a fine and suspended sentence.

Be a minister in the Beattie government and run the health system into the ground while claiming to be a "health care professional" - payout and cushy job elsewhere.

Be a minister in the Beattie government and see to it that 1,500 people are ripped off on their life memberships to a non-football related venue: get a cushy job in Los Angeles with an extensive meal budget ($80,000 was it last year?) and a $250,000 pay packet.

Be a minister in the Beattie government and arrange for one of your loyal underlings to take the heat for you so that you don't get a grilling from the slopposition, then turn on the underling and see to it that she loses her job and cause much mental anguish to her simply because she supported you. Only do the right thing when the truth emerges.

Be the leader of the slopposition and knowingly break the law by announcing to the public that a candidate in a state election has a domestic violence order against them (even though it was known far and wide to be bogus), and then arrange for some 'other' charges to be laid against the complainant when it comes time for a formal complaint to be made against said leader. Leader of the Slopposition *could* be happy in the knowledge that the complainant has since died but not so happy to know that a monkey with brain damage could do his job more effectively.

Be a normal bloke in the street with a nice car and not drive fast or endanger the public; serve the community in various ways; etc etc - get slugged with excessive fines every time a minor breach of any pathetic little by-law occurs because "the people must be kept in line".

Seems to me that 200 years ago, criminals were loaded onto boats in England and sent out here. Present day: the criminals are still here except they're now running the country like an inept form for the mafia (at least the mafia will take care of people who side with them!)

Speed Enforcement Facts & Myths

This is an email I sent out recently to a couple of friends:

A site worth checking out in more detail…. One that (on first appearances) seems to be working towards safety on the roads rather than running a few advertisements on TV and collecting revenue and calling that "active road management".

It seems that, yet again, the Kiwis have beaten us Aussies at doing something constructive about tackling the problems and ill-informed slogans rather than giving the old shrug and saying: "yeah, but what can you do?" while more laws are created to make life difficult for people with unique vehicles, yet existing ones aren't enforced.

• Speed Enforcement Facts & Myths

In short, I am getting thoroughly sick & tired of the moronic bureaucrats who sit in offices all day with no idea of what it is actually like to be out on the roads, other than the times they are driving their single-occupant cars to work, of course. They build roads to suit cars only with no thought given to the Carriageway on which they build that road and they build the road using the technology of the new millenium with thinking from the 30's.

Driving around SE Queensland, I see a number of electronic billboards over various major stretches of roads. The concept of using these electronic billboards is brilliant - until you see the purpose for which they are used....
You never see "Accident on road ahead, use Exit X to avoid" or even notices about severe storms, that is: something that would actually be useful. No - Main Roads or Queensland Transport (whoever runs these things) only ever put their STUPID, ASININE, BRAINLESS, HALFWITTED slogans on there:

"Every K over is a Killer"
"Speeding or Drink Driving - What's the difference?"

...and the list goes on.

Yet again, the fools of this world think that nonsense slogans and advertising will take the place of actual education and teaching people to use the roads - and this is the reason why people will continue to die on the roads in hideously high numbers. No dumbarse journalist writing his 'inspired' piece in some rag will fix it - nor will some trained liar sitting on his fat arse in a huge chair in parliament have something resembling a clue on the complexity of the problem that even exists let alone any idea on how to fix it.
This is also why the vast majority of road users should be described as "car operators" and not "drivers". To operate a vehicle is one thing (that even a monkey can master) but to actually drive requires thought and intelligence - something that the monkey might have but car-operators in this state do not.

In short, it means people with some balls and some brains needs to get into the various ministerial portfolios of this so-called "Smart" state and they need to start kicking the heads of both the foolish 'advisers' below them and the halfwitted bureaucrats who procrastinate on everything.

Unfortunately, the solution will never be found while people elect fools to these jobs; while the power & money mad unions are allowed to dictate who can sit in parliament and who cannot; and while the politicians are not held accountable for their acts of ineptitude. Idiots in these jobs will continue to ignore the issues with a preference being to fatten their own wallets.

A friend of mine has suggested that you would need to assassinate only a couple of them before the others started coming into line. The idea has merit but it seems that those who pushed the gun buy-back scheme could see that the people needed to be disarmed before something along these lines actually happens.

R.I.P: me mum

Apologies to all who read this blog (oh wait - that's just me... :? ) but there's been a good reason for not being vigilant with the blog.

Approximately 5:05am, August 14, 2005 - my mum passed away.

I got the phone call at about 10-past-5 and went and woke dad up to go in to the hospital to see her. It's very strange seeing someone in that state - their body is there but you look into their eyes and the soul really is gone. It makes you want to believe that there is a better place for them to go and that they truly are at peace.

It's sad and I miss her a lot and there is now nobody there to call several times a week to make sure that I'm eating food and not just living on coffee and toast and that everything is OK, but at least she is not in pain anymore.
I think it's a fair trade that I can look after myself a bit better if I know that she's not being crippled by the cancer that spread to her lungs, spleen and spine.

An upside is that she was not a victim of the ineptitude of the public health system here in Queensland (in the state it is thanks to Petie Beater and his merry band of morons) and that she had the best medical care right up to the very end.

I just wish that I knew of a way that I could thank the staff at the Wesley Hospital in Brisbane for everything they did. Every last one of them are true professionals in their attitude towards health care and amazing people in their care for their patients.

Until I think of a better way: Thank you everyone for being there!