Inflatable Dolls

A guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll.

Guy behind the counter asks,
"Male or female?"
Customer says,
"Female"

"Black or white?"
"White"

"Christian or Muslim?"
"What the hell does religion have to do with it?"

Counter guy says,
"The Muslim one blows itself up."

Union Bosses

This is brilliant - I love it! (click on this link to watch or download)

It's an advertisement that has just started showing in the USA but is equally relevent here - especially when referring to the arsewipes in the CFMEU and TWU, and the biggest bludgers of all: Wharfies (OK, so a close toss-up between Wharfies and the Train Drivers Union in Queensland...)

Don't forget: The BLF wasn't deregistered because they sang too loud at choir practice.

Let's not forget the halfwits that populate Student Unions in every university in the country. How else are Labor politicians to get 'qualifications' unless they're bestowed upon them by the socialist buddies in the form of 'honorary doctrates'?

How Much?

I wonder if they're selling them?

HELL'S Angels bikies in the Northern Territory are involved in the production of rocket launchers, a bikie source says.

I have a distinct need for a few of these, particularly when I see:

- a speed camera situated on an open stretch of highway in some imaginary 'black spot' (police officer will be warned to get out of vehicle first if a mobile unit)

- a billboard paid for by the taxpayers of Queensland to push the false advertising line of "Every K over is a Killer".

- yet another shithead in his no-2-panels-the-same-colour Commodore or turbo-charged batty-boy sitting 6 inches off my bumper when it is blatantly obvious that I can neither go faster nor move out of the way.

- representatives of Australian media claiming to "bring you the news".

Fining litterers

It's about friggin' time!

UNDERCOVER council rangers are fining smokers who drop cigarette butts in Sydney's CBD.

The "Butt Force" of 30 plain clothed City of Sydney rangers issued 45 $60 fines during its first week of patrols last week.

A steeper $200 fine applies for people who throw lit cigarettes on the ground.

Look - I don't give a shit if people want to smoke. Your lungs - do what you want. What I do have a problem with is the brainless, inconsiderate DICKHEADS who think it's OK to hurl a cigarette butt anywhere they want.

First point - we're in the middle of a drought, you wankers - the water to put out the fires you start often comes from dams which house our ever-dwindling supply of drinking water!

Second point - YOU'RE A BLUDGER! If you have ever had to do a shitty job for an even shittier pay, one of those jobs may have been cleaning out gutters and garden beds of filthy, disgusting cigarette butts that some self-important spastic has deemed to dump there.

Just keep flicking your rubbish on the ground - I'm sure you won't mind when I dump a binload of rubbish (stolen from McDonalds or somewhere similar) in through your car window.

Changed her life?

WTF???

Good old Grimey Traceyshaw (Tracey Grimshaw) is now saying that interviewing Todd Russell & Brant Webb from the Beaconsfield Mine cave-in has changed her life.

Whoop-de-friggin'-doo!

Yep - it must have been hard to do an interview... something you were (kinda) trained to do... in your chosen profession... and then come out of it with a new understanding of life, the universe and everything (Thank You Mr Adams :)

How STUPID can you get?

Yet another example of some halfwit journalist (term used VERY loosely) thinking that they have some grounding in the real world just because they spoke to someone who's been through some hardship. Try living it sometime, Grimey.

The Cowboy, Indian and Arab

Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport passenger lounge in Calgary Alberta, while awaiting their respective flights.

One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer.

Another is a cowboy on his way to Lethbridge for a livestock show.

The third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at the University of Calgary from the Middle East.

Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull.

The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table and tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face. The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around, and the old windsock is flapping; but still no plane comes.

Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly he speaks,
"At one time here, my people were many, but sadly, now we are few."

The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward,
"Once my people were few," he sneers, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?"

The cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a smooth drawl,
"That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's a-comin'."

It's not working...

There was an article in the Sydney Morning Herald a couple of weeks ago saying that the death penalty wasn't working.

Of course, this is yet another play on words by some left-wing, do-gooder who thinks that criminals have rights while their victims are left wanting justice.

A double murderer was put to death in Ohio today but not until after one of his veins had collapsed, causing the condemned man to sit up and tell his executioners, "It's not working", officials say.

Simply put: the death penalty DOES work because it removes a fetid pool of contemptible DNA from the gene pool never to spawn an offspring (if we're lucky).

The problem with the death penalty is that such a sentence can never work in Australia because the legal system is run by bigger crooks than those they seek to put behind bars. Who's crooked? Think of the stories you hear of magistrates who let repeat offenders out on the street with nothing more than a suspended sentence (and not the 'suspended' sentence that they should get - the kind where they're suspended by the neck!) - if they're not robbing the public purse by accepting huge salaries for gross negligence and incompetence, then what exactly is a crook?

The Australian legal system is a JOKE - it seeks to find someone to wear the blame instead of finding out what really happened and then laying the punishment on the party who deserves it.

My actual preference is for public corporal punishment to be introduced but only after the "justice" system is revamped to something like the French system (yes, the French *are* actually good for something!). Some will say that the French system works on a presumption of guilt with the defendent required to prove innocence - not so as this is a falacy. The French system works like an Inquiry does here in Oz - it is a court that seeks to determine the TRUTH instead of what happens now, ie: crims walking free.

"So if we do find the truth, then why not the death penalty? It still exists in the Westminster system for cases of High Treason." (oh, if only they would use it.... so many members of the Labor party and the Greens - so few bullets.... :(

Because the majority of crimes happen down the petty end of the scale. Old women being raped and robbed. Drug crimes. Robberies. Road rage. Accidental deaths as a result of crime. Gang-related crime.

It worked in Singapore - it can work here. Deal with the petty crimes in ways that keep the small-time crims out of jail (I don't want to see them getting 3 square meals and a bed paid for with my taxes!) but give them a memento of "appreciation" from society to remember us by: 3 or 6 of the best across the buttocks with a bamboo cane delivered by a martial artist.

That's the problem now.... there is no real punishment for crime - nothing to remember the lesson that society doesn't like your actions if you choose to indulge. Unless you happen to be a victim of that crime - THEN you not only have to deal with the crime itself and associated losses in your life but you also have the sense of being let down and treated like the criminal because you were a taxpayer and not someone who "needed help".

A proven record of dealing with crime will never be accepted in this country as it seems that the decisions are being made by people who refuse to look outside our borders and to see what tests and trials have been undertaken around the world and which were successful.
Even in the most liberal country on the planet - The Netherlands - they have proven that drug shooting rooms DO NOT WORK - but do those results mean anything to the most arrogant and ignorant of bureaucrats who think they know better? No.
In Singapore where gang crime was relentless and seemingly uncontrollable - how did they fix that? Tough laws that were enacted across the board (not pithy 'efforts' like they use here where the road toll is "dealt with" using silly, pathetic ad campaigns and an orchestrated overuse of speed cameras.)

Man - I dream about the day when I turn on the news and there is a lead story about vigilantes dealing out justice the way it should be dealt - swift and hard.

1 in 5, eh?

ALMOST one in five cars tested during a blitz in Melbourne was unroadworthy, police said.
Victoria Police today said they were concerned by the number of motorists driving unroadworthy vehicles after the operation in Caulfield, in Melbourne's southeast, between 9.30am (AEST) and 3pm (AEST) today.

Police stopped about 1500 drivers in a major road block and detected almost 300 unroadworthy cars.

A further 96 drivers were fined for driving unregistered vehicles or driving without a licence, police said.

"It is always a concern when so many unsafe vehicles and unlicensed drivers are detected," Sergeant Dean Cooper said.

Hmmm... yes - vehicles being deemed unroadworthy by those who are not really qualified to do so.

A Police Officer is there to enforce the law - if he was a natural at knowing the mechanicals of a vehicle, he/she/it could make a lot more money working as a spanner-turner than as a cop.

Sure - some cops know what they're looking at but most DON'T. I've heard of police pulling 2 cars less than 3 months old off the road for something that was obviously fictional in nature. Then again, going on *some* of the police in Brisbane, if you can't get someone on something legitimate: we can create something AND give you attitude about it as well!

With Victoria being FAR tougher on vehicles than Queensland is, I'm not really surprised that they managed to "find" one in five vehicles to be unroadworthy. Like most other things in Victoria: "Penalise the majority of the populace over the most pathetic bullshit you can find and protect the crims and minorities."

Da Vinci Code

Well... I went and saw it today and I have to admit that the critics are WRONG!!

OK... sure... Maybe Tom Hanks has gone to the Keanu Reeves School of Facial Expressions to learn how to display none at all but this was only pointed out to me afterwards as I quite enjoyed the performances of all involved.

So, who should see it and who shouldn't....

- If you are someone who is thin-skinned about your religion and you're a christian: the you should NOT see it.

- If you are someone who is a devout anti-christian who wants to see the fall of the catholic church: you're going to be disappointed.

- If you're someone who is going to pick on little things through the movie like whether someone should be written in Greek or Hebrew: wake up to yourself and realise that you're dealing with a movie that is based on a fictional book and was produced by Hollywood. Sometimes they have to dumb it down to get bums on seats. If you can keep your analytical mind on a chain: Go see it.

- If you're a typical airhead that just goes for action movies and can't maintain a philosophical discussion past "See Spot Run", go and see the next Slow & The Ridiculous (TF&TF) movie (in Tokyo yet!) - it's more your mental pace.

- If you're up for a movie that makes you think a bit and you're into conspiracy theories, then it's a good one for you.

- If you're a muslim who thinks that anyone who worships another god is someone who should die while themselves worshipping a paedophile: Go fuck yourself. Nobody cares about what you think or want. Don't laugh - maybe there'll be a movie soon about the REAL Mohammed. Get ready to burn something else you COWARDS!

As for me, I enjoyed it because I used to have a problem with christianity and religion in general in my younger days and read everything I could on the subject while often referring to the bible as a book of fairy tales. I'm still not a christian but I do believe in what I call "The 7 Commandments" (the first 3 don't apply to me) and the bible does contain some good lessons to help one through life.

I've not read Dan Brown's book but I did read 'Bloodline of the Holy Grail' by Laurence Gardner (the one in the lawsuit where Dan Brown is being sued for plagiarism). There are quite a few things that match up with what I've read over the years and at least they got it right in the movie that a pentacle does NOT go hand-in-hand with devil worship (but on the other hand, they did get it wrong in saying it was a pentacle - it was a pentagram. It only becomes a pentacle when there is a circle around the 5-pointed star.)

If you have a little bit of knowledge and you're not afraid to suspend reality for a while - go see it. At worst, checking out the French bird in it has it's own redeeming features :)

End Protective Custody NOW

The next thing that should go is the use of protective custody for rock-spiders like this sack of shit and other assorted dirtbags.

Why should MY taxes (and yours too) be used to protect scum who prey on children or suggest that the women in this country are trash and are only there to be raped and beaten?

Put them in general population - and if they happen to have the same treatment inflicted on them as was inflicted on their victims, maybe they'll comprehend that what they did was wrong. And if they die - who cares! Good riddance to bad company.

If you happen to be one of these do-gooders who think that 'people' like this have rights then let's see if you're as forgiving if it's YOUR 6-year-old daughter that is fiddled with by some paedophile (named Mohammed?) or raped repeatedly when she's 15 by a gang who describe her as "trash".
If you still think they have 'rights', I say that you'd be the sort of person that shirks responsibility and would gladly leave it up to someone else to help the girl pick up what's left of her life and to battle through the emotional scars.

Cowards protecting cowards.

postscript: as for the pack rapist wanting a family.... sure, let him have a family but NOT at my expense. Nor is he to get any form of special medical treatment that he doesn't pay for UP FRONT while people are on extensive waiting lists in hospitals all around the country. If he makes it out of jail with his nutsack still attached and there is a woman STUPID enough to take his seed: good luck to him. I'd prefer to see his cock and balls nailed to a wooden chair while he sits there and watches.

Manslaughter vs Murder

Yet again the legal system in Australia has let the people down. I say "legal" system because there sure-as-shit ISN'T a system of "justice" in this country - unless you happen to be in a political party that frightens the bejeezus out of QR Premier, Petie Beater. You'll be locked up on trumped up charges if you're a political threat or fail to pay $100 in taxes!

When the hell is the law going to be passed that if you kill someone unintentionally (manslaughter) while committing a crime then the mandatory sentence and crime is then escalated to MURDER?

Sure - the namby-pamby arsewipes that constitute themselves as Defense Lawyers will argue all sorts of crap to put reasonable doubt in the minds of the jury but this bullshit should be stricken from any court record.

What needs to be determined is if the initial crime (in this case: bag-snatching). If the crime was committed and the person has died: no trial for that - the penalty stands.

The legal system in Australia, the judges, the defense lawyers, the wannabe social workers that protect criminal "rights" - they all need a good arse-raping with a wire brush dipped in paint thinners. That might wake the dickheads up a bit!

How about we protect the VICTIMS of crime for once? Not the criminals!

Warne vs Hunt

I found myself thinking (stop laughing!) when reading this about the affairs of Rex Hunt and reflecting on the bits I have seen in the media about it.

Of course, when a celebrity has an affair, it still ranks way up there on the give-a-shit scale that I have. I think this is hovering somewhere around what colour socks I plan to wear on August 19, 2040 (if I'm still alive).

I recall that in the past I have given Shane Warne a verbal slagging because of his behaviour when he couldn't keep his dick in his trousers yet I can't seem to do the same for Rex Hunt?

I don't understand what makes Rex Hunt more likeable than Shane Warne in my mind considering that I have never met nor know either of them.

Gun violence kills '1000 every day'

GUN violence is a global epidemic that kills an estimated 1000 people a day and stronger international controls on the sale and movement of arms are needed, a report released today said.

"If 1000 people a day were dying of avian flu, the world would sit up and take notice," said the report, published by IANSA, a group of agencies including Amnesty International and Oxfam.

Well then... thanks for the news about this revelation.

If 1000 people a day were dying of avian flu... - thank you for that comparison Amnesty & Oxfam - you've justified my reason for not giving either of you any donations. The original reason is because the money mostly leaves this country and doesn't help those in need here. Charity begins at home, remember?

OK - OK - I don't give either of you any money because I just don't give a shit.

More importantly, these two organisations are complaining about guns and people killing people with guns. Thank you SO much for the assumption I had to make that this was around the entire planet.

Have any of the boneheads in either of these "charities" thought about how many people die each day, around the globe, on the public road systems? It's more than 1,000 people I can tell you!

Which deaths are more easily prevented?

One set of deaths are the result of crime (obviously). Various police forces around the planet either don't have the resources to tackle the crime problem or are bought off (in 3rd world countries) to look the other way. The other people are dying because they are trying to commute in one form or another and are being killed because road rules aren't being enforced and people are not being taught how to drive.

So.... yet another DICKHEAD in the media wants to push their personal agenda about how guns are bad but are quite happy for everyone to be armed with another form of weapon: the licence that 99% of the population seemingly gets out of a Corn Flakes packet!

Me confused again....

Can anyone answer this question for me?

Here was have a methamphetamine drug lab in a high rise unit in Sufferer's Parasite (Surfer's Paradise) on the Gold Coast (
Man, woman charged over drug lab) which was initially reported in the media as having "blown up" (ie: explosive-like).

Next we have a bloke in Brisbane who has made a bomb for whatever purpose (I can only *dream* that it was intended for the Big Brother house)(Bail refused for explosives accused).

Why then is the latter rushed before court and charged and held and is the focus of many media releases while the morons in the former are not?

It is not known for sure that the latter was a terrorist or what his intentions are - but we sure-as-hell know what the former were up to!

Is there a single suburb in any major city in Australia at all that doesn't have a meth lab in it? How do these people differ from other "terrorists"?

Look Eddie, just PISS OFF!!

Who the hell cares if Eddie Maguire now runs channel 9 or is president of a cross-country basketball club or even if he can suck a golf ball up through a garden hose - just piss off already! You're getting your CEO-(aka: Useless Prat than runs a company into the ground)-paycheck and you don't have to work anymore, so just disappear willya?

Now he wants to get involved in the coverage debacle that is Channel 9 down in Beaconsfield in Tasmania with the trapped miners. Your mate, Mike Munroe, should write for Woman's Day considering his PATHETIC journalistic standards and idiotic questions. One more clown from "The News Leader" shouldn't make that much of a difference.

When are the media intelligentsia in this country going to work out a question to ask that is not stupendously ridiculous?
Mike Munroe: Who do you feel to know that your son has been found alive?
Parents: Well, gee... dunno... we did have a good insurance policy out on him....
(DICKHEAD!!!!)

[Eddie: Who Wants To Be A Millionaire might have been a good show if it wasn't for the endless adverts and indecision and the inability of every friggin Channel 9 Program Manager to understand what a watch or a program schedule is there for. I used to tape it and watch the entire show in under 15 minutes but then stopped doing this as well so that your advertisers were not getting seen at all.]

Pell angers Muslims, environmentalists

Good one!

Can you vote for priests?

Anyone who pisses off the Paedophile-Worship cult and the dickhead greenies (excuse redundancy) deserves a medal.

Who's Creating the Vilification?

I keep hearing about these fuckwits in Victoria making idiotic rulings (judges) and laws (politicians) so that the Followers of the Sect-of-the-Paedophile can retain the right to feel comfortable at all times. Yet, here they are going to special lengths to grant special consideration to criminals while law-abiding people can basically "Go fuck yourselves!"

I am in Europe in 2004 - as a visitor, not as someone wanting to promote terror or death or a dhimmi-like existence - yet when I get notice that my brother has 24-to-48 hours to live, QANTAS couldn't give a shit and say that the soonest they can get me out is 7 days later.

Here is someone who IS A CRIMINAL and is in jail for a reason, and he's being given a charter flight so see his brother who is dying. WHO THE FUCK CARES if this lowlife sack of shit doesn't see his brother before he dies?? He wasn't in prison because he exceeded his water allocation while washing his car! He wasn't there because he sang 'Tiptoe Through The Tulips' an octave or two lower than Tiny Tim!

So why does some DICKHEAD in a robe think there are 'special circumstances' to let this fleabag out of prison? SO WHAT!!! Maybe next time he won't preach death and mayhem and get thrown in prison in the first place!

So now, another member of the international forum for NAMBLA gets to feel good about himself but everyone else gets told to "piss off".

Where is the Family Court bomber when you need him - a few of these judges need a wake-up call.

Sorry

Sorry to all who look back every once in a while - I've been slack and lazy and finding it a bit hard to type considering that my left hand is still in a cast (you can't write the shit I do without having at least one hand free to..... *ahem* :)

Posts will be coming soon - lots to grumble about....