Oh SHIT!
It seems that the nongs of society have squarely convinced the nongs of TV programming that yet another sLeason (yes, I did type it that way) of Big Brother is in order.
I hate the show - it is utter crap! It is even lower down the entertainment food chain than Jerry Springer, Neighbours, Home & Away, and other shitty shows like this that bank on no-talent halfwits to carry them through season after season after season.
"Why watch it?" you say? I DON'T!! Why? Because it is the televisual version of diarrhoea on a most explosive scale. SHIT - and lots of it!! What makes it worse is that you can't turn certain radio stations on during the time that this avenue-of-fame for the most dimwitted-of-society because it is flooding the airwaves as well! Then you have life-lacking dickheads talking about and idolising these contestants - or *other* life-lacking dickheads! There is no escape!
Then there is the hostess. Sure she looks alright being the resident mutton-dressed-up-as-lamb but so can anyone when they apply make-up with a trowel and the network smears vaseline over the camera lens!! OK, so maybe that was a bit harsh - there is definitely worse in the world and I am definitely no oil painting. Fair is fair.
I seem to recall though that she came from a field of endeavour that required some form of intellect (don't remember what though) - so how the hell did she allow herself to stoop so low as to be a part of this parcel of steaming horse shite that seems to form the pinacle of television programming in Australia?
You may now be asking how I know that this tripe is starting again….. I know about it because a mate (I'm starting to wonder now) came to me at work and suggested that I audition for the show. "ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING????"
The thing is: other people at work heard him make this statement and all joined in and said that it would be great if I were to go on it. They said that the most opinionated ones don't last long (which means that I won't have to tolerate the pack of losers for very long) and it would be worth watching them all get told where they can go and what they can do with their stupid little attention-seeking egos. I think I would greatly enjoy telling the resident homosexual (they always have at least one - well, I think they do - every other 'reality' show has one for some STUPID reason) that I don't give a shit that they are gay. They can go suck dick day and night in public dunnies and be raped repeatedly in the arse by some bloke and his horse - but the point being that I don't give a flying frag about what they do. F*CK GAY PRIDE!! You wanna be gay and introduce infection into your bodies and do all sorts of injurious activites to your body - go right ahead - just leave the attention seeking side of it with the 50c that you're going to use to call someone who gives a rat's arse!
Same goes for carpet-munchers - piss off and write your number on the wall of the shitter and hopefully you'll meet that someone 'special'.
Besides - someone here at work said that there was a psych test and that I wouldn't pass it anyway. I have the real snakey suspicion that they are going to make me bet something or coerce me into trying out for it as I could really use the car……
5 comments:
I've only ever seen one episode of Big Bogan, and that was in the first season. Also, it was because I had a friend visiting from Sydney and she was addicted to it.
Never again.
As for Gretel... rumour has it that her young teenage daughter is her stylist. That wouldn't surprise me in the least. I dunno about mutton done up as lamb. Try mutton done up as crap.
She should stick to her writing (she's also a kid's author).
The best thing about Big Bogan is the Spin's take on it These guys shitcan it like you wouldn't believe. They watch it for you then provide you with an indepth review. You can't beat it.
Banal, vapid, garbage. The participants are so vain and so lacking in self-knowledge (ie, they have NO IDEA that they are brainless prats, and always will be) that it's difficult to believe they actually get by in life, and have jobs; friends even. They have no social skills and no brain cells - they are, surely, not safe to cross a road alone.
As for Gretel - as nilnarf said, mutton as crap; 'cause it sure ain't like any lamb I'm ever seen.
I try to remind myself that they must be paying Grete; mega-dollars to humiliate herself, and to act like a 12 year old ("ooh, did jack fall in love with jane?" surely this tripe has to be scripted - she can't possibly come up with that juvenile prattle all by herself), not to mention the vile, unattractive, entirely unflattering "blonde" bimbo look. How did a woman of that age (and, alas, she looks every minute of her years) get sucked into making herself look like a cheap hooker AND appear in public? Seven figures? Surely it must be that much - it would explain everything, and, I suppose makes her, at least, rather clever.
Another series of Big Brother? One series was already too much. But I think that of all of the other local "reality" teevee shows too.
Channel 10 have ditched "The Shield" mid-way through the series - arseholes!!! It was the ONLY thing on teevee that I watched every week.
One of my brothers came up with the best idea of all: seal the doors.
When they enter, just seal up the doors.
I thought that maybe throwing in an assortment of weapons as well so that the 'meat' could be cut more easily as they say that it "tastes like chicken...."
>:)
Nothing like a bit of long pork, eh, jai? As they call it, the other white meat.
One of the things that really, really, gets me going about 'reality' tv is the way it has killed off so much of the local drama industry. Where once - as well as actors - you had scriptwriters and editors, production crew (assistants, managers, secretaries), runners, camera ops, grips, gaffers, sound techies and boom ops, directors, assistant directors and interns. Not to mention director's assistants, and makeup, hair and wardrobe.
I've not even started on post production!
Now, we have a house that's wired for sound, so no need for lighting techs - it's all run through a control panel. No need for any serious scripting, or lighting (it's all in place), no director, assitants, runner, gaffers, grips.
I guess that Gretel needs an army of hair and makeup to look that scary, so there's a job there.
All they really need are an editing crew and music. Big whoop.
After the initial outlay, it's money for jam. Sure it fills in the local content quota, but with Big Bogan on the tv for a half hour prime time weekdays, then with 'up late' a couple of times a week, elimination sunday nights and eviction on monday nights, that's a shitload of time that could be filled with qualitytelevision.
I'll stay away from Idle for now. I'm starting to foam at the mouth.
This was our favourite episode of Big Brother.
-- Nick and Nora
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