Here is another one of my TMI files where I slag off at the female population for thinking me not good enough - or is it?
After registering on a dating site on the internet (yes, I had to have a go so that I could say that I did make an attempt to meet someone) and contacting somewhere around 50 individuals (kept records), I have finally found a single female on this site that is capable of telling the truth - or at least expressing an opinion.
I've met many before this day who are able to do this and if I say something dumb then they tell me - that is what I like: honesty. Unfortunately, most are seemingly incapable of doing this. They *say* they do, but we all know that actions speak louder than words.
Of course, said female still isn't interested in me but that doesn't matter because at least she had the intestinal fortitude to say so and to give a hint as to how I could make things better for myself. That, dear Ladies, is what you call a genuine person!
Dammit... I just remembered that there was another on this site that spoke the truth as well. OK - make that 2. Two out of fifty? Not great odds, is it? Does it mean anything when the blatantly obvious Russian Bride Scam artists don't even write back? :)
In any case, I have taken pause and are now considering my next move based on the information I have been given - which, surprisingly, is the same as that given me by the first one who gave me feedback: "You are too full on."
When I work out what this means, I'll try to do something with it.
I thought that a bloke being "full on" with a new bird is the one who is professing love and devotion and talking about the names of the kids and what colour the bathroom will be painted after you've been talking for maybe 5 minutes. I really fail to see how I could frighten someone when all I do is speak freely and don't bullshit - maybe it's the quantity that I write?
Oh well - who cares. I tell myself that a woman who is put off by a bloke who does more than sits around scratching his nuts and grunting probably won't hang around for long anyway. Just remember this the next time you're trying to impress your friends about what kind of bloke you think you deserve - if you mention "can string together a coherent sentence" - you're lying! (No? Prove me wrong! Win-Win for me, I say >:)
The upside of all of this is that I have gone back to dance classes (Salsa, Merengue, Cha Cha) and am enjoying it immensely. What's even better is that there are about 10 women there to maybe 3 blokes :) All different ages and sizes and such but I don't care as all are friendly and it's great to see a smile when I get something right.
Apparently, I've also been asked to bring along some "cute guys" so that there are more blokes there for the women to dance with. HELL, NO! If I knew where the cute guys hung out, I'd be selling their locations to the gay blokes so that I can make some cash on the side. Also, the standards of the women are lower when there isn't much choice there in partners - better for me :)
I think I just answered the "full on" question as well.... :/
3 comments:
The "feedback" is interesting Jai.
Does it mean that women expect a man to not be his real self for the first few months, you know, the whole "everyone on their best behaviour" thing?
On the other hand, perhaps it's a variation of that: no need to show the whole onion up front, leave them wanting more, let the onion layers come off at a slower pace? There is a lot of merit in that.
I'm a bit socially reticent, until I know people quite well, so I know when I meet someone who is "totally out there", I probably back off, not necessarily because I don't like them - in fact I often will - it's because I feel uncomfortable with someone being so ... familiar? ... when we've only just met.
Sorry, not doing a good job of explaining.
Glad to hear about the dance classes - good stuff.
Don't give up on the online stuff, it's all a numbers game, up the probabilities for yourself by pursing lots of avenues, but also, so many people ARE using online services.
I dunno if women *do* expect a bloke to not be his real self or not. Maybe it has to do with what a comedienne said a few years ago (forget name): "Women strive to find the perfect man - and then change him into something else."
I am far from being the perfect anything but I think I'm a damn sight better than most of the losers out there that they pick up. At least what you see now is what you get.
Well... except for the temper thing but I don't let many see that at all because it's not nice and I don't take it out on anyone else anyway.
I'm just a naturally suspicious person. I don't trust ANYONE until they've proven themselves, so I guess what I do is write enough to try to alleviate that issue that someone may have if they were a bit like me....
Online stuff is dead in the water. Don't give a shit anymore. I have some damn good friends - a career that I'm about to restart after some time off - there is my training I go to and the dance classes. Why the hell do I worry about being alone? There are far more uplifting and beneficial elements to my life than I could get from a woman.
Anyway, with married ones excluded and the couple of single mums out there that I know - it's become excrutiatingly obvious to me that there are NO single women WORTH finding in this country.
If they haven't been fucked up mentally by some immature fuckwit that thinks he's entitled to refer to himself as a "man", they're in the same position as I am and think that there isn't any out there worth finding.
Ladies - go live your life to the full! You won't find a "man" in this country, let alone a "perfect man". The only reason I think I'm different is because I have friends who care enough to tell me when I've been stupid and how to fix it.
I tried the online dating thing a couple of years back, I see nothing has changed. I have a friend who trolled one of those sites by putting up a couple of fake profiles with some rather interesting results!
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